If you've ever kissed a cutie, you know just how special it feels--and not just physically. There's also a mental component that'll help you connect to your partner better. After you've known each other for a while, certain types of kisses will let them know exactly how you're feeling without you having to say a word. It's the most intimate form of communication. The next time you want to get smooched, here are some jokes about kissing to tell your crush:
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Kissing is like Real Estate
"The most important thing is: Location. Location. Location." You'd expect your grandmother to kiss you on the cheek, but you wouldn't want her to kiss you on the lips or the neck. That's just uncalled for! You only want to be kissed in certain spots by certain people, just like you only want your house to be in a certain spot.
Just as the perfect spot can make a property desirable, a well-placed kiss can send hearts soaring. Imagine if someone tried to plant a smooch right on the tip of your nose in the middle of a serious discussion. Awkward, right? Or, picture a peck dodged during a first date - you might end up with a comical misfire that's more forehead than forehead-to-lips. Remember, the magic is in the mutual understanding of when and where. That's what transforms a simple kiss into a moment worth savoring!
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Have You Heard about Belgian Kissing?
"It's like French kissing, only more Flemish." In the northern part of Belgian, Flemish is one of the languages that is spoken. Of course, the joke is referring to phlegm. Yuck.
Belgian kissing may sound like a peculiar cultural twist on a classic affectionate gesture, but rest assured—it's all in good fun. No, you don't actually need to bring a language guide to pucker up in Brussels. But it does highlight the playful humor that can accompany the international language of love. After all, kisses don't need translation, even if they come with a side of giggles about regional quirks. So, whether it’s a quick peck or a prolonged smooch, it's the connection that counts. Just maybe keep a tissue handy, just in case.
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Frequently asked questions
Try this on your date: 'If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard!'
Sure! Why did the phone go out with the lipstick? Because it wanted a kiss and make-up!
Of course! 'Why aren't kisses like secrets? Because the best ones are hard to keep!'
How about this one: 'I'm a great kisser; I've got my PhD in smoochology.'
Absolutely! Here's one: 'What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts sharing a smooch!'
Do You Ever Wake up, Kiss the Person Next to You, and Feel Glad to Be Alive?
"I just did and apparently I won’t be allowed on this airline again." To be fair, it is hard to resist kissing a cutie when they're that close to you. Although it's always best to be dating them before you plant your lips on them.
Certainly, unexpected affection at 30,000 feet is no small feat! It's the kind that can set hearts aflutter or, in this case, earn you a stern warning from the flight attendant. Remember, spontaneity has its place, but perhaps your seatmate might first appreciate a kind gesture or shared snack as a prelude to a mid-flight peck. Besides, those airline seats aren't exactly the ideal romantic backdrop. Hold off on those impulses until you're back on solid ground, and you just might find it's worth the wait!
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Smile
"It's the second best thing you can do with your lips." Of course, the best thing is kissing. Or if you're feeling scandalous, maybe it's something a little more dirty.
Remember, smiling is like a secret handshake for the soul. When our lips curve into that delightful shape, it sends a message that's clearer than any flirty text. So flash those pearly whites to set the stage for a memorable kiss. It's the kind of prelude that promises a story you'll retell with a blush and a giggle. And who knows, that grin might just be the silent invitation for a kiss that sparks an endless series of smooches.
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Don't Have Sex
"It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them." You have to be careful with who you start relationships with, you know. Just because someone is cute enough to kiss doesn't mean that they're sane enough to date.
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Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
Can I Borrow a Kiss?
"I promise I'll give it back." This is a sneaky way to get two entire kisses! Even though it's technically a joke, it could also work as a pick-up line in the right circumstances.
This playful request is laced with charm and a cheeky promise of repayment, making it irresistibly witty. When delivered with a mischievous smile and a twinkle in the eye, it could very well lead to a giggle and perhaps even a peck on the lips. Perfect for breaking the ice on a first date or injecting a little flirtatious fun into a long-term relationship, this line is sure to make your intended swoon—and remember, interest is always better when it's compounded!
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20% of Men Kiss Their Wife Goodbye when They Leave Their House
“And 80% kiss their house goodbye when they leave their wife.” Everyone knows how messy divorce can be. If you marry someone, you better be prepared to spend the rest of your life with them. If you decide to leave, then you won't be taking all of your stuff with you.
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I'd Walk a Mile for One of Your Smiles
"And even farther for that thing you do with your tongue." As wonderful as tiny pecks on the lips are, nothing beats a French kiss. It's just too enticing.
When it comes down to it, kissing is an art form that varies from person to person. A hint of mint on your breath, a gentle hand cradling the face, and a soft approach, can elevate a simple kiss into something magically intimate. It's about finding that perfect rhythm and dance with your lips that makes the both of you forget the world for a moment. And who knew that a little tongue tango could send shivers straight to your toes? Trust me, it's well worth the extra distance.
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I Can't Read Lips Unless They're Touching Mine
"So please give me the opportunity to know your thoughts." Here's another joke that'll work pretty well as a pick-up line. Just make sure that you use it on the right person, because you don't want to end up having a drink thrown at your face.
Kissing is a special gesture. It's a way to prove just how much you care about someone without using words. Do you know any other jokes about kissing?
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