All Women's Talk

17 Mixed up Feelings We All Experience when Job Hunting ...

By Lyndsie

Job hunting is brutal. It is just brutal. It's worse depending on your field, of course, but there are universal horrors experienced by everyone who has ever gone on a mad, frantic hunt for a new job – or even a slower, more leisurely paced one. Haha, joke, is there such a thing? BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS. Allow me to bond with you, and vent about all the feels we experienced when we're trying to find a new place to work ASAP.

Table of contents:

  1. You start out so determined
  2. You're an eager little shark
  3. You feel tremendous confidence in yourself
  4. You're excited about all the possibilities
  5. You're so wide-eyed and hopeful
  6. But then the anxiety comes
  7. And it's quickly followed by insecurity
  8. Self-doubt comes soon after
  9. Then you hit the denial stage
  10. You become irrationally angry
  11. Now you're drowning in disappointment
  12. Which soon leads to wallowing
  13. You start thinking about therapy
  14. … so you pick wine instead
  15. All your motivation drains away
  16. So you start cyber-stalking everywhere you applied
  17. And convince yourself that you will find something

1 You Start out so Determined

You're so ready. You want a new job so bad. You're going to rock this job search. Everything good will happen to you.

2 You're an Eager Little Shark

You probably make this face. This is your shark smile. You're eager and hungry and ready.

3 You Feel Tremendous Confidence in Yourself

Everyone you approach will instantly want to hire you. They will be so charmed by your introductory email that they will not even need to read your gorgeous, impeccable resume that cost you $2.99.

4 You're Excited about All the Possibilities

So many jobs, so many positions, so many opportunities – and they're all just waiting for you to pluck them like ripe fruit!

5 You're so Wide-eyed and Hopeful

You know, you just know that there's something else out there for you, something new and different and fulfilling.

6 But then the Anxiety Comes

How come no one's getting back to you? Is your email working? Maybe Gmail's down. Maybe your internet isn't working. That must be it.

7 And It's Quickly Followed by Insecurity

What if you're not as awesome as you think you are? What if you're destined to remain in the dead-end job that's currently sucking the soul out of your body?

8 Self-doubt Comes Soon after

Yup. You suck. No one is ever going to hire you. You will remain stuck where you are until they sack you.

9 Then You Hit the Denial Stage


10 You Become Irrationally Angry

You're angry at everyone. Your current employer, yourself, everyone you reached out to, and even the employers and hiring managers you haven't reached out to yet.

11 Now You're Drowning in Disappointment

What went wrong? What happened? What did you do? What could you do better?

12 Which Soon Leads to Wallowing

13 You Start Thinking about Therapy

There is obviously something wrong with you, after all. You are broken and awful and no one wants to employ you. Therapy is so expensive, though, and you won't even have insurance until you get a new damn job …

14 … so You Pick Wine Instead

Wine will hire you.

15 All Your Motivation Drains Away

Why bother being motivated? No one wants to work with you. Being unmotivated is infinitely easier.

16 So You Start Cyber-stalking Everywhere You Applied

Why? So you can pinpoint all the ways they suck, of course, and convince yourself of how much better off you are.

17 And Convince Yourself That You Will Find Something

And you will. The right job is waiting for you, no matter how dark your prospects seem right now.

We are not unemployable, damn it! There's always tomorrow. Oh, god … there's always tomorrow.

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