Job hunting is brutal. It is just brutal. It's worse depending on your field, of course, but there are universal horrors experienced by everyone who has ever gone on a mad, frantic hunt for a new job – or even a slower, more leisurely paced one. Haha, joke, is there such a thing? BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS. Allow me to bond with you, and vent about all the feels we experienced when we're trying to find a new place to work ASAP.
You're so ready. You want a new job so bad. You're going to rock this job search. Everything good will happen to you.
You probably make this face. This is your shark smile. You're eager and hungry and ready.
Everyone you approach will instantly want to hire you. They will be so charmed by your introductory email that they will not even need to read your gorgeous, impeccable resume that cost you $2.99.
So many jobs, so many positions, so many opportunities – and they're all just waiting for you to pluck them like ripe fruit!
You know, you just know that there's something else out there for you, something new and different and fulfilling.
How come no one's getting back to you? Is your email working? Maybe Gmail's down. Maybe your internet isn't working. That must be it.
What if you're not as awesome as you think you are? What if you're destined to remain in the dead-end job that's currently sucking the soul out of your body?
Yup. You suck. No one is ever going to hire you. You will remain stuck where you are until they sack you.
Denial. IT'S NOT JUST A RIVER IN EGYPT ANYMORE.
You're angry at everyone. Your current employer, yourself, everyone you reached out to, and even the employers and hiring managers you haven't reached out to yet.
What went wrong? What happened? What did you do? What could you do better?
There is obviously something wrong with you, after all. You are broken and awful and no one wants to employ you. Therapy is so expensive, though, and you won't even have insurance until you get a new damn job …
Wine will hire you.
Why bother being motivated? No one wants to work with you. Being unmotivated is infinitely easier.
Why? So you can pinpoint all the ways they suck, of course, and convince yourself of how much better off you are.
And you will. The right job is waiting for you, no matter how dark your prospects seem right now.
We are not unemployable, damn it! There's always tomorrow. Oh, god … there's always tomorrow.
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