With our growing obsession with the celebrity lifestyle and the lavishness portrayed on our favourite shows, it’s not surprising that we are expected to enjoy highbrow things. However, most of us do not live on the Upper East Side, do not vacation in St Barts and are happy to swig some Cava on New Year’s Eve. So fear not ladies, let’s be real - it’s perfectly fine not to enjoy the highbrow things in life!
Topping the list of highbrow things it’s okay to hate has to be champagne. Let’s face it, it’s ridiculously expensive, it makes you belch and doesn’t even taste that good! As decedent a temptation it may be to appear sophisticated sipping your Moet, personally ,I’d rather have a giggle glugging my chardonnay…
I have never tried Caviar… nor do I particularly want to. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this stuff fish eggs? Do I need to go on? Fish. Eggs. To me it’s like eating tadpoles. It makes no sense to splash (like the pun?!) the cash on salty, slimy, little pellets?
I once tried these slippery little suckers and I nearly spewed on the spot. Being a true Welsh girl, I don’t waste food that I’ve paid for, so I swallowed down all three (doused in tabasco to disguise the taste). They’re slimy, their salty and to quote Joey Tribiani, they look like giant boogers. My heart truly sank when I was informed that the vile little things are actually alive as you eat them…bleugh!
4 The Opera
We all have our own personal taste in music, and call me common, but listening to a screeching saga in a language I don’t understand for three hours is not my idea of a wonderful evening. I’d love to be cultured enough to be moved by the music and educated enough to understand Italian, sadly, I’m not. And let’s face it, nether are most of us. So why sit there watching the clock, crossing your legs and dreaming of your TV soaps whilst trying to appear sophisticated?
5 Nouvelle Cuisine
It is always said that we eat with our eyes first. Whilst I appreciate a good looking dish as much as the next person, I’d rather look at art and eat food. I have been out with my partner a few times where we had a lovely evening, lovely food, but raided the fridge and bread bin as soon as we got home! Nouvelle Cuisine, along with Haute Couture is for models and starlets! Give me my skinny jeans and a home cooked meal any day!
6 Foie Gras
Just like the previous point, it seems the more difficult the product is to pronounce, the more we’re expected to enjoy it. Foie Gras is a prime example. Whatever your personal preference and taste, there is really no need to justify the cruelty involved in producing this primitive speciality. Geese are force-fed by metal tube to produce this posh paté. What makes me snigger most of all, is, that eating liver, as other internal organs, originates from making the most of your meat- the waste not, want not mentality. So this “posh nosh” is, in itself a contradiction. The mind truly does boggle.
7 Golf Clubs
Having miss-spent my youth working in such an establishment, I have a personal gripe with golf clubs. Don’t get me wrong, I met some lovely golfers, but the “keeping up with the Jones’” attitude seen in social clubs drives me mad. For those of you lucky enough to be in the dark on this one, the formula is as follows. Golf clubs were traditionally for those who could afford the fees, and therefore are considered highbrow. Many people, despite not having a clue about the sport, join simply for the status associated. Sorry guys, not true. Just because you flash the cash for your membership and pay a pretty penny for your obscure attire, doesn’t give you the right to click your fingers at the staff and be downright snobs. As for expecting me to call you Mister Captain and Madam President… puuu-lease.
I’m all for “to each their own” but these are just a few things that make me laugh about social pretence. Eating something you don’t like because it’s expensive is daft. Drinking something that makes you burp excessively because it is deemed sophisticated is contradictory. Speaking down to others to elevate your ego is just tedious. What posh things do you dislike and why?