1. Get a Tattoo

Of all the ways to shock your kids, the number one way has to be getting a tattoo. Kids like to think that their generation is the rebellious one. So what better way to shock them than by getting a tattoo (or several)? You're leaving them nothing to rebel against. And it needs to be somewhere visible; you won't have any impact if your tattoo is hidden under clothes …

2. Roll in Drunk

Your kids may think that you've gone off to choir practice. Perhaps that is indeed what you have done every Tuesday for the last ten years. Why not make this Tuesday a little different? Arrive home with several beers under your belt and fall over the table in the hall. Your kids won't believe what they're seeing.

3. Talk about Sex

Any parent knows that making the slightest reference to sex in their children's hearing causes them maximum levels of embarrassment. Kids would rather do the most horrible of household chores than have their parents refer to having a sex life. We all like to imagine (or rather not) that we were born through some magical process that did not involve our parents getting jiggy …

4. Swear

Of course you don't want your kids growing up thinking that swearing like a trooper is acceptable. But if you've always forbidden swearing in the house (or indeed outside), dropping an occasional four-letter word can have a satisfying effect on your kids. For maximum impact, your children should believe that you are an impeccably decent church-goer. And if they ask what the pastor would think, tell them he taught you the word.

5. Get a Toy Boy

When your kids are grown up, you may think that they're too old to be shocked at anything you do. But there's still some room for some sly parental fun at their expense. Just get yourself a toy boy. If he's closer to your kids' age than your own, all the better. They'll be stunned that their aged mom (as they see you) can pull a young guy.

6. Buy a Sports Car

Your kids probably think that you're far too boring to have a mid-life crisis and get yourself a sports car. Show them how wrong they are, and ditch the family saloon for a fast set of wheels. Or even better, learn to ride a motorbike, and turn up at school wearing head-to-toe leathers. They'll die of embarrassment.

7. Agree with Them

Your kids are thoroughly used to you telling them off and disagreeing with them. So how about discomforting them with a change of tactic? Agree with everything they say, tell them that their weird experiments in clothing look awesome, and give them permission to stay out till dawn. They'll be too stunned to do anything but be home at their normal time.

Have immense fun shocking your kids. It's only fair, when they try so hard to give you grey hairs. What's your favorite way of shocking your kids?