I'm not going to say we're all secretly mean girls, but we do mean things. You know we do. All of us do. Men, women, boys, girls, kids – we're all mean sometimes. You can be the nicest person in the world and a little bit of meanness will occasionally sneak out. Don't believe me? I defy you to read this and act like you haven't been mean at least once.
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1. Made Our Siblings Believe They Were Adopted
I have no siblings, but I used to do this with the cousins I didn't like. Kids are stupid so it always worked. Did it work for you?
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2. Hung up on a Partner
You shouldn't do this. It's bad manners and it usually makes things worse. … but it's so tempting sometimes, isn't it? Besides, there are times when the best point you can make involves hanging up the phone. It's a shame that everyone uses cell phones now, though. There's nothing quite like the satisfying crash of a landline.
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3. Pranked Your BFF
This is only mean if your prank is really mean. Otherwise, it's just a weird cross between charming and annoying.
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4. Borrowed Something and Ruined It
This is only mean if you ruin the item purposely – kind of. Because I imagine it still seems pretty crappy to the person who lent you whatever you ruined.
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5. Swiped Your Bestie's Favorite Shirt
Bestie, partner, parent – you know you steal clothes without asking.
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6. Didn't Record a Show Your Partner Wanted
If you forget, that's one thing. If you fail to record your partner's show because it interferes with one of yours, though, that's cold.
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7. Lied … a Lot
Guilty. Guilty all day, every day. Jeez, I lie a lot. I need to stop that.
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8. Used Every Ounce of Hot Water
Guilty. Guilty all day, every day. Sorry, Heather.
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9. Flushed the Toilet when Your Roommate Was in the Shower
Or your wife. Or your boyfriend. Or your friend. Whatever. This is mean.
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10. Reset Your Roommate's Alarm to Make Them Late
Okay, this is just icy. I mean, this is cold. You possibly deserve to get punched right in the face if you do this.
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11. Devoured All of the Chocolate in the House
Guilty all day, every day. If there is chocolate in this house and no one else touches it in twenty-four hours, it becomes mine.
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12. Prank Called Someone
This is on the more innocent end of the spectrum, but it counts. I have actually never done this. My social anxiety is so far-reaching that I actively fear someone yelling at me over a prank call. I'm lame.
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13. Unkindly Forced Someone to Wake up Way Earlier than Necessary
If you do this to anyone, ever, you are the devil and I do not want to be friends with you.
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14. Did Not Replace the Toilet Paper
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Oh, wait. I've done this, too. Oops!
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15. Engaged in Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Break Room
Or anywhere else, really. Passive aggression is such a manipulative little mind-game.
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16. Gossiped about Someone
Oh, I know you've done this. I know you've gossiped about a colleague, a friend, a mutual acquaintance – someone. Stop being mean!
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17. Yelled at a Dog for Playing
Oh, I feel like an asshole any time I yell at my dogs for anything. I feel like the meanest person in the world.
Are you secretly mean, even when you don't really mean to be?
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