I’m sure everyone reading this has made some pretty lame excuses but do they qualify for the lamest excuses ever? Like ever, ever? Some of the lamest excuses for not doing something are so unbelievable but they still spew out of people’s mouths. Wanna know some?
+ I was late because my leg went to sleep and I couldn’t run to work
+ The bus didn’t come, so I went home
Lame excuses for turning up late have to be the most common excuses on the planet. It seems like everybody has their own version of a perfect excuse for turning up late, or their own personal collection of lame excuses for not doing something. But, there are times like these two when you have to ask yourself if the excuse giver was “trying” to get into trouble.
+ My washing machine is being delivered that day
+ My kids need picking up that day
Plenty of people use their kids as an excuse not to do something in the future. It makes you feel sorry for the people that don’t have kids. Luckily, some people have washing machines that need to be delivered in place of having kids.
+ My boyfriend told me he won the lottery, so I was out celebrating
+ I needed time off because I had some worrying to do
Some lame excuses take beating, and these should be applauded for their audacity if nothing else.
+ I thought I was having a heart attack so I went home
+ I nearly crashed on the way to work and needed to go home to get my head together
If you were traveling to work and thought you were having a heart attack, would you turn around and go home or go to the hospital? Furthermore, how fragile would you have to be to be shaken up by a near miss to the point of missing work?
+ My therapist wanted to see me
+ When I realized it was a workday it was too late to come in
Even if your therapist did want to see you, would you use that as your reason for not coming to work? Plus, how long would it take you to realize that it is a workday? Some people have morning amnesia, but it doesn’t usually last over eight hours!
+ My sister broke both her legs and I had to drive her to the hospital
+I thought I had a gas leak and didn’t want to leave my dog alone all day with it
Blaming other people or animals is bad enough, but when you also try to make yourself out the hero, it may be taking the excuse a little too far.
+ The project wasn’t to my taste
+ I was confused by my mother and didn’t want to face the world
There are some people that simply do not want to be employed, so they come up with the dumbest and lamest excuses they can think of that either demonstrates their arrogance or idiocy.
+ I thought the clocks went forwards today
+ I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail again
If she thought the clocks went forwards today, then wouldn’t that make her early as opposed to late? Bailing your boyfriend out of jail, be it an excuse or not, is a terrible reason for turning up late to work.
+ Isn’t Christmas Eve a bank holiday?
+ It’s the season of goodwill, so I spent the day with a homeless man
Many people that work in retail would rather cut off their own arms than work on Christmas Eve, so it is the time of year when you hear the lamest excuses for not turning up to work.
+ My husband wouldn’t let me drive in the rain
+ I felt like I was going to have another breakdown so I stayed in bed
The old line, “My husband won’t let me drive in the snow” is a common one, but not being allowed to drive in the rain is taking it too far. If you are prone to breakdowns, then why not mention it in your interview?
+ My dog drank bleach out of the toilet and I had to stay at home to make him sick
+ I felt a twinge in my back and was afraid to get out of bed
Some of the best lame excuses for not doing something are ones that are ludicrous but sound almost believable. The dog excuse was actually used by a University chemistry student as an excuse for not turning up. The twinge excuse was used by a fifty-year-old man that worked in a garden center. Part of you wants to believe them, but you know in the back of your mind they are made up excuses.
+ I was stuck in the company elevator
+ I thought I was fired because I didn’t come in yesterday
Some people use excuses that are so lame that there is no way they cannot be found out. If the first person were genuinely stuck in the company lift, then the company would have known about it, so she is going to be in trouble if she doesn’t have maintenance people backing her up. And is she thought she was fired, then why did she turn up that day?
+ I thought I had a caffeine addiction and needed to go to A&E
+ I didn’t want to work on an empty stomach so I went to McDonalds
People that often have sick days or turn up late frequently will have often exhausted all of their best excuses, and that is when their lamest excuses for not doing something suddenly start to appear.
+ My psychic said I might die on the 3rd, so I was saying goodbye to my family
+ You said I didn’t have to work a full day, so I was waiting for night
They are obviously fake excuses, but you have to smile at the audacity of the person saying it. If you come out with excuses like these, then make sure you have a more plausible excuse ready for if your boss doesn’t laugh.
+ That’s the same day as my court hearing
+ My granddad wants me home that day for the two-minute silence
Truly terrible reasons not to come into work are everywhere. If you work as a manager for long enough then you will hear them all.
+ I read a horoscope that said I can’t do heavy lifting this week
+ My kids have locked themselves out the house so I need to go home
If you are tempted to use these excuses then forget it. As plausible as they sound, your boss has heard them (and worse) many times.
+ My dog followed me all the way to work so I had to take him home
+ It must be my eyes because I saw no reason to do it
When someone is ready to quit a job, you will start hearing lamer and lamer excuses.
I hope you’re not guilty of these lame excuses, but if you ever did try one, did you get away with it? Do you have a gem to share with us?
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