17 of the Lamest Excuses for Not Doing Something ...

I’m sure everyone reading this has made some pretty lame excuses but do they qualify for the lamest excuses ever? Like ever, ever? Some of the lamest excuses for not doing something are so unbelievable but they still spew out of people’s mouths. Wanna know some?

1. Lame Excuses for Turning up Late

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+ I was late because my leg went to sleep and I couldn’t run to work
+ The bus didn’t come, so I went home

Lame excuses for turning up late have to be the most common excuses on the planet. It seems like everybody has their own version of a perfect excuse for turning up late, or their own personal collection of lame excuses for not doing something. But, there are times like these two when you have to ask yourself if the excuse giver was “trying” to get into trouble.

2. Excuses Not to do a Task with a Deadline over 7 Days Away

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+ My washing machine is being delivered that day
+ My kids need picking up that day

Plenty of people use their kids as an excuse not to do something in the future. It makes you feel sorry for the people that don’t have kids. Luckily, some people have washing machines that need to be delivered in place of having kids.

3. Excuses for Not Turning up

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+ My boyfriend told me he won the lottery, so I was out celebrating
+ I needed time off because I had some worrying to do

Some lame excuses take beating, and these should be applauded for their audacity if nothing else.

4. Getting to Work Excuses

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+ I thought I was having a heart attack so I went home
+ I nearly crashed on the way to work and needed to go home to get my head together

If you were traveling to work and thought you were having a heart attack, would you turn around and go home or go to the hospital? Furthermore, how fragile would you have to be to be shaken up by a near miss to the point of missing work?

5. Jaw Dropping Reasons for Missing Work

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+ My therapist wanted to see me
+ When I realized it was a workday it was too late to come in

Even if your therapist did want to see you, would you use that as your reason for not coming to work? Plus, how long would it take you to realize that it is a workday? Some people have morning amnesia, but it doesn’t usually last over eight hours!

6. Blaming Other People or Animals

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+ My sister broke both her legs and I had to drive her to the hospital
+I thought I had a gas leak and didn’t want to leave my dog alone all day with it

Blaming other people or animals is bad enough, but when you also try to make yourself out the hero, it may be taking the excuse a little too far.

7. Excuses for People That Want to Lose Their Job

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+ The project wasn’t to my taste
+ I was confused by my mother and didn’t want to face the world

There are some people that simply do not want to be employed, so they come up with the dumbest and lamest excuses they can think of that either demonstrates their arrogance or idiocy.

8. Pitiful Excuses for Turning up Late

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+ I thought the clocks went forwards today
+ I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail again

If she thought the clocks went forwards today, then wouldn’t that make her early as opposed to late? Bailing your boyfriend out of jail, be it an excuse or not, is a terrible reason for turning up late to work.

9. Reasons Not to Work on Christmas Eve

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+ Isn’t Christmas Eve a bank holiday?
+ It’s the season of goodwill, so I spent the day with a homeless man

Many people that work in retail would rather cut off their own arms than work on Christmas Eve, so it is the time of year when you hear the lamest excuses for not turning up to work.

10. Terrible Reasons You Cannot Get into Work Today

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+ My husband wouldn’t let me drive in the rain
+ I felt like I was going to have another breakdown so I stayed in bed

The old line, “My husband won’t let me drive in the snow” is a common one, but not being allowed to drive in the rain is taking it too far. If you are prone to breakdowns, then why not mention it in your interview?

11. Almost Believable Lame Excuses

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+ My dog drank bleach out of the toilet and I had to stay at home to make him sick
+ I felt a twinge in my back and was afraid to get out of bed

Some of the best lame excuses for not doing something are ones that are ludicrous but sound almost believable. The dog excuse was actually used by a University chemistry student as an excuse for not turning up. The twinge excuse was used by a fifty-year-old man that worked in a garden center. Part of you wants to believe them, but you know in the back of your mind they are made up excuses.

12. Excuses That You Simply Cannot Defend

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+ I was stuck in the company elevator
+ I thought I was fired because I didn’t come in yesterday

Some people use excuses that are so lame that there is no way they cannot be found out. If the first person were genuinely stuck in the company lift, then the company would have known about it, so she is going to be in trouble if she doesn’t have maintenance people backing her up. And is she thought she was fired, then why did she turn up that day?

13. Excuses Because They Had to Be Somewhere else

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+ I thought I had a caffeine addiction and needed to go to A&E
+ I didn’t want to work on an empty stomach so I went to McDonalds

People that often have sick days or turn up late frequently will have often exhausted all of their best excuses, and that is when their lamest excuses for not doing something suddenly start to appear.

14. Dumb but Funny Excuses

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+ My psychic said I might die on the 3rd, so I was saying goodbye to my family
+ You said I didn’t have to work a full day, so I was waiting for night

They are obviously fake excuses, but you have to smile at the audacity of the person saying it. If you come out with excuses like these, then make sure you have a more plausible excuse ready for if your boss doesn’t laugh.

15. Excuses Not to Turn up on a Day when You Are Due to Work

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+ That’s the same day as my court hearing
+ My granddad wants me home that day for the two-minute silence

Truly terrible reasons not to come into work are everywhere. If you work as a manager for long enough then you will hear them all.

16. Lame Excuses for Not Doing Something

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+ I read a horoscope that said I can’t do heavy lifting this week
+ My kids have locked themselves out the house so I need to go home

If you are tempted to use these excuses then forget it. As plausible as they sound, your boss has heard them (and worse) many times.

17. Excuses You Give when You Hate Your Job

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+ My dog followed me all the way to work so I had to take him home
+ It must be my eyes because I saw no reason to do it

When someone is ready to quit a job, you will start hearing lamer and lamer excuses.

I hope you’re not guilty of these lame excuses, but if you ever did try one, did you get away with it? Do you have a gem to share with us?

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