Could your mom be right? Should you find a nice guy and get married? Although you may be at the height of your hotness right now, with new guys around every corner, there may be some truth to what Mom says. Here are the top seven reasons to get married, and they are all really, really serious.
1 Winter is Coming up
You know what that means, right? It's really cold. Sometimes it even snows. Do you really want to get up and go out in the cold to some bar with your friends? A husband can make you hot cocoa and watch So You Think You Can Dance on demand with you until Spring comes. Unlike a boyfriend, he is legally obligated to let you choose what's on TV. This is the marriage contract fine print that nobody tells you about, like Fight Club.
Babies are so cute! Until they scream. But then they are cute soon after that, when they sleep. If you want a baby, you have to find a husband. Well, not definitely, but it makes it easier. Also, if you hate your own last name, the baby has another option that doesn't have all those contiguous consonants (damn your Eastern European origin!).
3 Etsy = Wedding Inspiration
You're just looking for earrings, but the seller describes them as wedding earrings. Same with that necklace you liked. Are these signs or what?
4 Your Best Friend from Childhood is Engaged
If you don't get on this, stat, you will never be able to be pregnant at the same time and both have little girls that you take to see the Rockettes and to FAO Schwartz. Then WTF were all those 4th grade planning sessions about? Make this happen. Your unborn daughter Savannah (you still want to name her that, right?) is counting on you.
5 More Time off
Maybe you're Type A, but taking off more than a couple of days from work makes you anxious. But if you had a honeymoon coming up, that's an awesome reason to be gone for at least 9 days, counting the weekends before and after the work week. And you probably wouldn't even check your email if you were in Hawaii with your hot husband. More than once every couple hours.
6 Your Mom Really Will Get into It
Now she's always taking pictures of your dog, and, to be honest, she needs something else in her life. Like your wedding. Also then maybe she would stop worrying about your younger sister who seems to be having some trouble finding herself and just enrolled in her third college.
7 You Are Sick of Texting
When you're married, your husband is always there. Every night. No need to text him, when you can just say, hey, I'm going with the girls to Vegas and I'll see you next week. And he would be totally cool with that. Especially if your things-are-kind-of-unresolved-ex-boyfriend joins the trip. He'll just stay home and dust or vacuum or something.
Well, those were my super serious reasons you should get hitched. Make sure to bring it up with your next Tinder date. And tell Mom she may have a son in law.... one of these days. For more, visit Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom on Facebook or on Twitter.