Admit it ladies, the monthly flow of the red sea can make you more than a little crazy and along with the whoop-dee-doo of not being pregnant, you have to endure the highs and lows of the period blues. Men don’t understand the mood swings and they never will; not until they have Niagara Falls gushing through their privates when they sneeze. A little gross, I know, but I’m sure you ladies got (check) each other’s back when it comes to icky womb woes and the silly things women do when having the period blues.
1. Binge Eating
Nothing affirms PMS like stuffing your face full of whatever you are craving even at the oddest hour. This is the sign, isn't it, that you know it’s coming? The period blues have begun but you and I know how this goes – a few hours later you are clutching that half eaten jar of peanut butter while having an emotional upheaval for eating your weight in calories. It’s all good till you get to that stage and to anyone that makes you feel guilty for binge eating; your response probably goes something like this, "Sorry I can’t hear you over my bag of chips and tub of Ben & Jerry’s. But since you are standing there, be a dear and pass me the Cheetos."
2. Weird Cravings
Eating like there’s no tomorrow is not the only craving women endure. Women’s cravings when it comes to food tend to get a little strange during that time of the month. I know of friends who have the knack of mixing the most unlikely of foods together and well, I’m no exception either. I once had hot sauce on my pancakes instead of syrup! Weird? Yes! But when you want what you want, you just got to have it! What is the weirdest craving you had?
3. Binge Watching
Binge eating – check! Now that you are covered in crumbs and wearing your comfiest pair of sweatpants, it’s time to go for a double binge and have a tear-jerking marathon of romance movies and TV shows. What exactly is it about periods that make you and me gravitate towards shows or movies that bring forth the waterworks? As if you need any help crying when on your period.
4. Period Brain
It’s so much fun being on your period and the fluctuating mood takes the fun up a notch! From one moment you are raging with so much anger that even the hulk has nothing on you and within seconds you are crying a river, over what? Something silly of course! Believe it or not, I had a full break down because I knocked over a box of cereal. I went from frustration with my clumsiness over spilled cereal to "I can never get anything right" – let’s just weep.
5. Releasing the Bitch
You can’t forget about your inner bitch that is propelled to new heights when on your period! Even something simple can trigger the bitch and hell hath no fury like a woman on her period. The wrath of menstruation sarcasm should come with a warning - "it’s not really your fault, it’s the hormones", for real!
6. Google to the Rescue
When the heating pads just don’t do it and the painkillers are taking too long to kick in, you turn to your unfailing friend, Google. Then the search results gives you crazy choices like exercise which might really help but there’s no way you are going to do so much as a sit-up when it feels like your uterus is about to fall out. You settle for rolling about in your bed in the most ludicrous manner. But at least that is some form of exercise and all that rolling is sure to burn those calories you wolfed down earlier, right?
7. More Google, More Tears
Amidst the numerous emotions you feel, emotions you never even knew existed, you now Google your favourite celebrities and start to wonder how did God manage to create something so flawless. It's worse still if you come across videos and their charm is even more evident. You giggle a little, swoon a little and then come the sobbing because they are so perfect and never will be yours.
Take heart ladies and know you are not alone. You are not the only one doing silly things when your womb rages against you, sending you into a spiral of emotions. So, the next time you go a little crazy, blame it on the crimson red. What other silly things do you do that make your friends ask if you're on your period?