There are certain times when even the most health-conscious girl must (over)indulge in junk food: crisps, ice cream, soda, you name it (but hopefully not all at once). What are these dire situations, and how can we identify them, so we know for sure it's time to indulge? Read on.
1. A Bad Breakup
Whether we suffered the breakup, or one of our best friends went through it, the rules of friendship clearly state that we're to mourn the loss with a helping (or three) of sweets, such as, but not limited to: pastries, ice cream, cake, and pie. It's best to indulge during the "flood of tears" or "binge-watching The Notebook" phase of the breakup, before bitterness (and the desire for salty snacks) has reared its ugly head.
2. Foreign Travel
Any globe-trotting girl can attest to this simple fact: as important as learning a few key phrases in the language of the land, is learning to enjoy its junk food. It's really one of the best ways to ensure you'll really get to the heart and soul of any new culture, so ferret out what the locals enjoy as junk food, and indulge a little.
3. Binge-Watching Ala Netflix
Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Full House — a marathon catching-up session is another time when junk food of some sort is a very good idea. If you're not concerned about personal hygiene during your Dr. Who-a-Thon, why should you worry about calories?
Alongside your vat of coffee and/or Red Bull, there's room for some Pringles, pizza pockets, and Mike & Ike's, right? An all-night study session wouldn't be quite the same with fresh fruit or wholesome whole grains, so junk food it is!
While it seems counter-intuitive, one of the best times to indulge in a grape soda or double-fudge chocolate chip cookie is after a footrace, especially anything longer than a half-marathon. Sure, personal trainers will tell you lean protein and electrolytes are better, but what do they know? Cookie it is.
If you started a new diet at the New Year, around Valentine's Day, you're ready for a treat, and I suspect this is where the concept for this holiday (and its requisite chocolates) first took hold. Because you're dieting, it's best to only indulge a little — one sliver of cheesecake, savored, is a better idea than a giant piece smothered in chocolate sauce and whipped cream wolfed down. It's not the diet-destroying calories you'll regret; after weeks of careful eating, it's the horrific belly-gurgling and bloat while you're trying to be romantic.
7. Difficult Gatherings
Do extended family dinners set your teeth on edge? Or those hours-long work meetings that never, ever accomplish anything? Or nights out with your boyfriend's friends, when all they do is talk sports and burp/fart as loudly as they can for fun? These, and other difficult gatherings, are times when it's completely understandable, and almost necessary, to enjoy some junk food... especially if "junk food" can mean "alcohol." Always indulge responsibly, of course, but do indulge if possible. Also note that there seems to be a corollary by which the more ineffective, frustrating, and time-wasting a work meeting is, the better the pastry. This is not a coincidence.
These are but a handful of the many situations in life in which a little junk food can (and most certainly does) go a long way. Of course, this is all in good fun — we truly shouldn't indulge every day, right? But can you think of any other times when junk food is necessary and encouraged?