No matter how socially awkward you are, there are moments when you simply have to roll up your sleeves, pull on your big girl panties, and act like you're actually cool, confident, and perfectly capable of acting like a fully functional adult. It is surprisingly hard to do this. The socially awkward struggle is real so that even seemingly innocuous situations are cringe-inducing. I would like to avoid all of these situations for the rest of eternity. Since that simply is not possible, the most you can do is to be aware of what they are. Then you can be a little prepared, at least.
Doesn't matter how awkward you are or how uncomfortable you feel, you have to get your ish together when you sitting in front of that hiring manager.
This probably involves actively studying the menu before your server comes, not just so you can pick out what you want but so you can memorize it and practice saying it, thereby reducing the risk of completely mangling your order and embarrassing yourself.
It's okay if your palms are sweating when you make the call, no one can see you.
Someday you'll reach a point where you're no longer afraid of calling the nurse “mom.”
Somebody's going to sit next to you and it's really okay – but you might want to have a book or your headphones or something, just in case.
Talking to colleagues, putting on a presentation, ordering something for lunch in the cafeteria ...
It's hard to tell which is worse, getting called on when you don't want to answer or forcing yourself to raise your hand so you can actually participate – but the fear of accidentally saying something stupid is always there.
Do you talk or is this supposed to be a silent, painfully awkward ride?
Especially if you don't know anyone – this will happen to you and you must know what to do, or else you'll be forced to disappear forever and live under an assumed name.
Oh, you absolutely have to step it up when you're talking to superiors, but it is so difficult because they are so big and important, and they so often hold your future in their big, scary hands.
Small talk is an invention of the devil and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
Especially when you don't know anyone, so all conversation stops and everyone turns to stare at you and oh my god, I have to go breathe into a paper bag real quick.
One wrong word or nervous stutter and you might end up with a mullet.
You have to get over that awkward tendency to just pat them on the head while continuously whispering, “There, there. There, there.”
Try to avoid ordering finger foods or anything that drips a lot.
So many possible missteps, so many potential disasters, so much crushing pressure.
What are you supposed to say, even?
I'm not ready. Are you ready? I'm not ready. I have not yet upped my game.
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