Samantha Jones said it best when she said "You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex. And all the while bobbing up and down, moaning, and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a "job" for nothing." I kid. Blow jobs are fun but that doesn't stop my mind from wandering almost every time I'm giving one. Here are some random thoughts I've had in the heat of the moment.
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1. " I Wonder How Blow Jobs Came into Existence"
Followed by "Must remember to Google history of the blow job when this is over".
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
2. "Am I Doing This Right? I Hope He's Enjoying It"
No matter how much (or how little) experience you've had, there's no escaping this thought.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
3. "Should I Make Eye Contact?"
https://media.giphy.com/media/LZ7zDjZ0znDlm/giphy.gif
Is it rude to stare? Should I close my eyes? Should I look up to see if he's enjoying it? Seriously, what's proper blow job etiquette?!
***
The whole eye contact thing can be a total mind scramble. Let's get real – locking eyes can crank up the intimacy to a whole new level, but overdo it and things creep into intense territory. A sultry glance up now and then? Hot. But a wide-eyed stare down? Er, not so much. It's like a dance – a flirty peek, a bashful blink, and damn, back to business. And there's no shame in closing those peepers if the moment takes you. Feeling it is the goal, not winning a staring contest.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
4. "and We've Got Moans, People!"
"Look at him. I'm rocking his world!"
***
As you're going through the motions, there's a moment of self-congratulation that subtly creeps up. It's that mental high-five you give yourself when his breathing gets heavier, and you know you're totally in charge. Sure, it's a job that can give you a cramp in your jaw, but in this instant, you're nothing short of a rockstar. You can't help but feel a little power surge knowing you've got all his attention focused on the magic you're working with just your lips and tongue. It's empowering, isn't it?
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
5. "Did I Send That Urgent E-mail I Was Supposed to Send?"
Or some other work/chore related thought that you really shouldn't be worrying about right now.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
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6. "CONCENTRATE!"
Focus on the task at hand!
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
7. "Oh... I Guess It's Going in Deep Now"
Hello Level 2.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
8. "Can't.breathe!"
https://media.giphy.com/media/C526TuZyim8XC/giphy.gif
When you feel like you're choking and about to throw up on his little friend at the same time and you're like "This is how I'm going to die!".
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
9. "Okay Control Your Gag Reflex..."
*awkward sound*....and, FAIL!
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
10. "Wow My Jaw Hurts!"
Time to bring out my trusty hands.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
11. "Ugh, Hair in My Mouth"
How do I get it out without looking like an absolute idiot?
***
The dilemma is real, isn't it? It's like a stealthy ninja, always finding its way in at the most inconvenient times. The key is discretion—use your free hand to subtly swipe away the intruder. If that fails, press pause gracefully, laugh it off with a cheeky smile, and carry on. Let's face it, a little humor can go a long way in these moments, because getting flustered is never sexy. Plus, it's just hair, right? Keeping it lighthearted keeps the mood uplifted, and that's exactly where we want it to stay.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
12. "How Long Have I Been at It Anyway?"
Any moment now...
***
...I swear if someone put a stopwatch on me right now, they'd probably think I'm competing for some sort of endurance record. It's like time has this funny way of stretching out when you're locked in this position. Is there a world record category for this? Because at this point, I might actually be a contender. But seriously, after a certain point, you start wondering if you should maybe take a break, hydrate, maybe have a snack— turn this into a multi-event sport.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
13. "I Wish I Could Have a Penis for a Day"
Just to see what blow jobs feel like.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
14. "Oops. Almost Got Him There with My Teeth"
That would have been nasty.
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
15. "This Better Be Reciprocated!"
My turn!
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
16. "Looks like It's Almost Decision Time"
Spit or swallow? Spit or swallow?
Honestly, things like 'Is my technique okay?' or 'Please don't let me gag' often pop up. Even 'Am I doing this right?' is a frequent flyer!
Oh, absolutely! A classic one would be from Samantha Jones saying, 'I'm a trisexual, I'll try anything once!' It's light-hearted and relatable.
It's just a fun way of saying there's a loose set of guidelines to make things enjoyable for everyone involved. A little courtesy goes a long way, right?
Feelings can range from empowerment to awkwardness. Some days you feel like a pro, and other times, it's a comedy of errors.
The most important tip is communication. Ask what your partner likes and go from there. Confidence is also key!
17. And Finally..."I'm the Queen of Blow Jobs!"
(Blow) job well done!
Tell me, what do you usually think about when you're going down on someone?
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
Successfully subscribed!
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Comments
peony: Really...
Dee: Ahahahha... This one was funny.
Sapna: Great article a good blow job blows out the mind of the guy
Lisa: This is too funny!!! Remember ladies, if you enjoy it so will he.
JasmiN: Hahaha yeaah
Mom3025: Seriously... can't we just keep things clean people??? I mean, lets have some class.
Serene: Hysterical!!!
Courtney: I'm dying over here, lol. 😂
Gaby_: Funny article!
MaryPat: Hysterical but more importantly, CORRECT
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