What if men experienced periods? I often wonder about that, especially since there are so many aspects of women's health in which men are involved. Our reproductive health makes it into the news all the time, you know? There's the tampon tax, the idea of paid time off for painful periods – some guys get awfully mad about these things. I'm not going to go all political, though. I'm just going to indulge in a little daydream because I think the world would be a much different place if guys had periods.
(A/N: Let me specify that I know some men do, indeed, have periods, and many women do not. This post poses the question of what might happen if cisgender men had periods. Carry on!)
They'd be handed out everywhere, in all sizes, just like condoms! And those sad little dispensers in bathrooms? Those would finally get replaced
Quite possibly, chocolate would be free, as well. I wonder if you'd have to prove you were on your period to get it, though ...
Probably wine and Prozac, to be honest.
We wouldn't have to talk about Shark Week, Aunt Flo, or “that time of the month.” Guys would just talk about being on their period without worrying about the need to couch it in nicer, softer, gentler terms.
You know guys would talk about it all the time – not in whispers and murmurs, but out loud and proud.
Every single month. To deal with cramps – you know, the ones that aren't that bad anyway.
Having a heavy, cramp-filled period full of blood clots and period poos? That wouldn't be considered TMI any longer! Brag about your clots!
Oh, man. I'm sorry. But I would love to hear someone tell a dude that he's feeling angry or irritable solely because he's on PMS.
Today, women on their period are sometimes seen as weak, which is ludicrous. The exact opposite would be true if men had their periods.
Rockets or guns or … oh, ouch. I just got a mental image of someone trying to insert a tampon into a penis and now I feel bad.
No more pink and purple packaging! Maybe camo, instead.
Instead of that weird blue crap, products placements for periods would actually talk about blood! Maybe they'd even show it!
Who cares if you're walking around in ripped granny panties and stained sweats? If men menstruated, that ish would be perfectly fine.
It would no longer be seen as icky or dirty.
Because THEY'RE NOT.
Nor would anyone accuse them of being whiny or weak. What a world, what a world!
You know periods and PMS would be justifiable reasons for punching people in the face and junk. Finally.
Sorry, guys! This is all tongue-in-cheek, all in fun … but it's still something to think about. Periods hurt. They're legit painful. Let's have some chocolate together and talk about it.
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