Why is it when people are looking for someone new, they go into campaign mode? I’m talking about marketing themselves in crazy ways to attract and keep others.
We see it in the wild. Peacocks spreading their elaborate feathers hoping to get some. Roosters waking up everyone in the morning while looking to spend the night in the hen house.
But what about people? How many times have you seen someone post an old profile picture from 100 years ago on a dating site? People really talk themselves up. They exaggerate their jobs, lie about their likes, dislikes and even religious status.
In business, they call it PR. At your man’s family cookout, it’s called the, “Like me, I’m so sweet and wonderful,” marketing campaign. Think about it, you’re trying to look cool, calm, and collected while his mother stuffs a spoonful of her casserole in your mouth! The picnic dog won’t stop putting his dirty paws on your new outfit, and his uncle who is also a dog won’t stop putting his dirty paws on you either. Oh, but you handle it with a smile, because you know family members can make or break your newfound relationship. Trust me, that “paws thing” happens to guys too. It ain’t alright for either gender, but it still happens.
At this picnic, you also become a diplomat. When around his friends you just met, he introduces you as his “friend,” and you smile like a UN Ambassador. Meanwhile, one of his best friends is a chick and she’s hotter than you and is taking in every “single” word. Yes, “single” word. The enemy chick is patient, like a foreign power waiting to invade. Will diplomacy prevail?
What about the first date? You spend hours getting ready. Picking out clothes, doing and re-doing makeup, and playing musical shoes! You call your best friend for advice and the use of her Michael Kors purse she just texted you a picture of. You get into a debate with yourself about the appropriate level of cleavage, saying you want him to enjoy you and his dinner. It’s like preparing for a business meeting. Instead of charts and graphs, you're using a black dress, tight jeans, nail polish, lipstick, and lashes! You already have your hair planned out. You use looks, stares, and gestures like you just saw in that romantic comedy. Even your old sweatpants are mapped out, “These old things?” knowing they give you that “just woke up” kinda cute, or the girl next door aura. Yeah, sweatpants! That was for date number four or five!
We will end this tale with a “Press Release.” How will you hug him at the end of the date and release, i.e. press and release? Will it be a “do me” grip and release? A “I need to make sure that hot chick, cookout-friend of his sees that this territory is marked” type of press and release? You try to control what ends up on the picnic evening news and gossip. It is not like you are running for president, you’re just trying to set a precedent.
How is your campaign going? Are you advertising legs or promoting yourself, lies and all on dating sites and social media? Are you acting like you bumped into that guy by accident? That is called targeted advertising by the way. Are you doing marketing research by looking up LinkedIn profiles for Mr. Right with the right amount of money? Are you at a party looking around to see who is looking back at you, ignoring your friend who has been ranting for the last 10 minutes? That is called test marketing!
It’s so crazy. When people are dating, they say all the right things, dress better than they normally do, spend money they don’t have and put up with things they know they can’t stand. Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it doesn’t. Michele Obama didn’t like Barack smoking cigarettes when they met right? I would say it worked out pretty good. She just thought he was smoking hot and took a chance.
It would be tough to convince someone to be with you if you don’t market yourself or use a little PR. It is hard to be yourself when you really want something or someone. I am sure you have heard that lottery slogan that says, “You can’t win if you don’t play!” When it comes to love, companionship and the nasty, you can’t win if you don’t campaign!