You shouldn't have sex with your boyfriend whenever he tries to initiate it. If you're not turned on, then don't go through with it just to please him. Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both parties, so if you don't want to sleep with him, don't do it. If you're embarrassed to tell him that you're not in the mood, here are a few funny ways to turn him down instead:
1. I’m Not in the Mood to Be Disappointed by You
Let's face it: Unless you've been with him for a while and have taught him how your body works, he's probably not going to make you all that happy in bed. He'd be the only winner, which is why you should just be blunt by telling him you aren't in the mood to be disappointed by his poor performance.
2. I’m an Impenetrable Fortress of Spanx
Men don't realize how much work goes into looking gorgeous. In order to have sex, you'd have to take off every layer of clothing, including the Spanx that take you a while to get in and out of. It's too much work. The sex wouldn't be worth it.
3. Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
You've heard this phrase before, because it's the truth. Patience is a virtue, after all. That's why you should remind him that the longer he waits to sleep with you, the more he'll end up appreciating and enjoying the sex.
4. I Would, but You'd Never Be Able to Enjoy Sex with Another Girl Again
Here's a line to use on a stranger at the bar. After all, you're the sexiest woman in the world--not to mention, you're amazing in bed. If you slept with him, then he would never be able to enjoy sex again. Every other girl would look horrible in comparison to you. So really, you're doing him a favor by refusing to sleep with him.
5. You Can’t Touch This
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When all else fails, you might as well quote a hit song. If your man still tries to have sex with you, then you can start singing the rest of the lyrics. It should be a big enough turn off to get him to leave you alone.
6. I’m Trying to Get a Gold Medal in Abstinence
Too many women are ashamed of being virgins. However, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. That's why you should use this line on your boyfriend if you two have never done the deed before. Of course, even if you are sexually active, this is a fun line to use, because he'll know it's complete bullshit.
7. Touching Myself Would Be Way More Enjoyable
This one is harsh, but it's the truth. Most men don't have a clue what they're doing beneath the sheets. But you? You've had your body for your entire life, so you know what makes you tick. It would be much easier for you to masturbate than for you to watch him fumble around down there for an hour.
Turning down sex is nothing to be ashamed about. Your boyfriend shouldn't mind, and if he does, you should find a new boyfriend. What other funny lines can you think of to turn down sex?
Frequently Asked Questions
- How can I humorously say no to sex without hurting feelings?
- Try a light-hearted excuse like, 'Sorry, my blanket and I have a date tonight!' to keep things fun and gentle.
- Is it okay to use humor to turn down sex?
- Absolutely! Humor can ease tension and communicate your feelings in a loving way.
- What’s a funny way to say I'm just not feeling it tonight?
- You could say, 'I'm currently on a no-snogging diet, doctor's orders!'
- How do I keep the mood light when I’m not in the mood for sex?
- Use playful phrases or silly jokes that show you care, like 'My energy tank is empty—recharging only with cuddles!'
- Can I turn down sex without making it awkward?
- Yes! Using humor shows you're approachable and keeps the conversation open and positive.
- What if my partner feels rejected when I say no?
- Remind them with a smile that it’s about your mood, not them, and suggest something fun to do together instead.
- Any quick funny lines for when I'm just too tired?
- Try, 'I'd love to, but my pillow just filed a restraining order!'
- How can I say no without killing romance?
- Balance your 'no' with affection and maybe suggest a rain check with a playful twist.
- Should I explain why I’m not in the mood or keep it light?
- It’s fine to keep it light at first and discuss deeper feelings later when you’re both relaxed.
- What’s a cute way to suggest intimacy without sex?
- Offer a cozy cuddle session or a fun movie night to keep closeness without pressure.