Once upon a time, I worked in retail. It was the worst three months of my life. That's how long I made it. I worked in a very well-known, baby-oriented store with a high turnover rate, so I got to work all sorts of positions during that three month span. It was awful. It was so awful that years later, I still stand in solidarity with all the stressed, exhausted retail workers in the world. I dedicate this post and all the feels it contains to those brave workers.
1. The 'do You Work Here?' Question?
No. Absolutely not. I just like wearing brightly colored, oversized polo shirts that smell like burning polyester and death.
2. All the Effing Coupons
Oh god, when the coupons don't work. Or when they're expired. Or when the customer can't use more than one.
3. When You Have to Go to the Dark and Scary Back Room
You can never find anything, especially if you're looking for something in particular. However, the warehouse employees are always the best.
4. When You Find That Random Package of Frozen Meat in the Clothing Section
This … never happened to me, but I can imagine how confusing, horrifying, and annoying it would be.
5. When You Get 'the Call' on Your Day off
I lied. Every time. I always lied.
6. Black Friday – Need I Say More?
No one ever needs to say more than Black Friday. It is the blackest of all days.
7. #TheStruggleIsReal when It Comes to Rude Customers and Your Patience
Why? Why do you want to be rude to your cashier or the person helping you? Who hurt you?
8. The Music
Granted, some places have really awesome music. Other places, however, make you actively long for elevator music because it is so heinous and repetitive and just generally awful.
9. The People Who Come Right at Closing Time
10. All the Register Problems
Your manager could install the latest, greatest high tech junk on Tuesday. By Wednesday, everything will be broken again.
11. When You Get a Closing Shift Right after an Opening Shift
You might as well sleep in the big, scary back room, tbh.
12. Delivery Day
NOT DELIVERY DAY!
13. The Way the Time Just Draaags
It's like being in school again. Each second is a minute. Each minute is an hour. Each hour is seven days.
14. When Someone's Credit Card is Declined and They Insist They Have Money
Sure you do. Sure. But it's not on this card and I am SO SORRY.
15. The Got-danged Sales
Sales make everyone crazy. Crazy and mean. Crazy and mean and vicious.
16. When Someone Tries to Return Something without a Receipt … and It's Been Used
One time a lady tried to do this with a breast pump. She was not happy with me at all.
17. You Don't Make Enough and the Discount Isn't Worth It to Work Here
That has to suck. I wouldn't know because the only time I needed my discount was when friends had baby showers, so.
Who among you knows the reality of retail hell? Because you need a hug.