I'm not going to say we're all secretly mean girls, but we do mean things. You know we do. All of us do. Men, women, boys, girls, kids – we're all mean sometimes. You can be the nicest person in the world and a little bit of meanness will occasionally sneak out. Don't believe me? I defy you to read this and act like you haven't been mean at least once.
1 Made Our Siblings Believe They Were Adopted
I have no siblings, but I used to do this with the cousins I didn't like. Kids are stupid so it always worked. Did it work for you?
Frequently asked questions
2 Hung up on a Partner
You shouldn't do this. It's bad manners and it usually makes things worse. … but it's so tempting sometimes, isn't it? Besides, there are times when the best point you can make involves hanging up the phone. It's a shame that everyone uses cell phones now, though. There's nothing quite like the satisfying crash of a landline.
3 Pranked Your BFF
This is only mean if your prank is really mean. Otherwise, it's just a weird cross between charming and annoying.
4 Borrowed Something and Ruined It
This is only mean if you ruin the item purposely – kind of. Because I imagine it still seems pretty crappy to the person who lent you whatever you ruined.
5 Swiped Your Bestie's Favorite Shirt
Bestie, partner, parent – you know you steal clothes without asking.
6 Didn't Record a Show Your Partner Wanted
If you forget, that's one thing. If you fail to record your partner's show because it interferes with one of yours, though, that's cold.
7 Lied … a Lot
Guilty. Guilty all day, every day. Jeez, I lie a lot. I need to stop that.
8 Used Every Ounce of Hot Water
Guilty. Guilty all day, every day. Sorry, Heather.
9 Flushed the Toilet when Your Roommate Was in the Shower
Or your wife. Or your boyfriend. Or your friend. Whatever. This is mean.
10 Reset Your Roommate's Alarm to Make Them Late
Okay, this is just icy. I mean, this is cold. You possibly deserve to get punched right in the face if you do this.
11 Devoured All of the Chocolate in the House
Guilty all day, every day. If there is chocolate in this house and no one else touches it in twenty-four hours, it becomes mine.
12 Prank Called Someone
This is on the more innocent end of the spectrum, but it counts. I have actually never done this. My social anxiety is so far-reaching that I actively fear someone yelling at me over a prank call. I'm lame.
13 Unkindly Forced Someone to Wake up Way Earlier than Necessary
If you do this to anyone, ever, you are the devil and I do not want to be friends with you.
14 Did Not Replace the Toilet Paper
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Oh, wait. I've done this, too. Oops!
15 Engaged in Passive Aggressive Behavior in the Break Room
Or anywhere else, really. Passive aggression is such a manipulative little mind-game.
16 Gossiped about Someone
Oh, I know you've done this. I know you've gossiped about a colleague, a friend, a mutual acquaintance – someone. Stop being mean!
17 Yelled at a Dog for Playing
Oh, I feel like an asshole any time I yell at my dogs for anything. I feel like the meanest person in the world.
Are you secretly mean, even when you don't really mean to be?
