Samantha Jones said it best when she said "You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement and jaw stress and suction and gag reflex. And all the while bobbing up and down, moaning, and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a "job" for nothing." I kid. Blow jobs are fun but that doesn't stop my mind from wandering almost every time I'm giving one. Here are some random thoughts I've had in the heat of the moment.
1. " I Wonder How Blow Jobs Came into Existence"
Followed by "Must remember to Google history of the blow job when this is over".
2. "Am I Doing This Right? I Hope He's Enjoying It"
No matter how much (or how little) experience you've had, there's no escaping this thought.
3. "Should I Make Eye Contact?"
https://media.giphy.com/media/LZ7zDjZ0znDlm/giphy.gif
Is it rude to stare? Should I close my eyes? Should I look up to see if he's enjoying it? Seriously, what's proper blow job etiquette?!
4. "and We've Got Moans, People!"
"Look at him. I'm rocking his world!"
5. "Did I Send That Urgent E-mail I Was Supposed to Send?"
Or some other work/chore related thought that you really shouldn't be worrying about right now.
6. "CONCENTRATE!"
Focus on the task at hand!
7. "Oh... I Guess It's Going in Deep Now"
Hello Level 2.
8. "Can't.breathe!"
https://media.giphy.com/media/C526TuZyim8XC/giphy.gif
When you feel like you're choking and about to throw up on his little friend at the same time and you're like "This is how I'm going to die!".
9. "Okay Control Your Gag Reflex..."
*awkward sound*....and, FAIL!
10. "Wow My Jaw Hurts!"
Time to bring out my trusty hands.
11. "Ugh, Hair in My Mouth"
How do I get it out without looking like an absolute idiot?
12. "How Long Have I Been at It Anyway?"
Any moment now...
13. "I Wish I Could Have a Penis for a Day"
Just to see what blow jobs feel like.
14. "Oops. Almost Got Him There with My Teeth"
That would have been nasty.
15. "This Better Be Reciprocated!"
My turn!
16. "Looks like It's Almost Decision Time"
Spit or swallow? Spit or swallow?
17. And Finally..."I'm the Queen of Blow Jobs!"
(Blow) job well done!
Tell me, what do you usually think about when you're going down on someone?
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