The closeness, the butterflies, the fireworks when your tongues intertwine...kissing is truly magical, right? Well, yes of course but where there's good, there's also evil and some kisses are downright disgusting! Have you experienced any of these awful kisses?
1. The "I'm Looking for Lost Treasure in Your Mouth" Kiss
You know the kind where the other person just sticks his/her tongue deep (and I mean DEEP) inside your mouth? HELP!
2. The "I'm a Puppy" Kiss
You know what I'm talking about. The very wet, very sloppy kiss that makes you feel like you just washed your face...with someone else's saliva. Ugh!
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3. The "I'm Going to Eat You" Kiss
This is where the other person opens his mouth so wide, that you feel like you're being eaten alive.
4. The "closed Mouth" Kiss
The opposite of #3, where your partner just refuses to open his/her mouth. Let me in!
5. The "Eye Opener"
Unless you're doing it together for fun, kissing with your eyes open is just creepy!
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6. The "Biter"
Okay, a gentle nip in the heat of the moment is fine but anything harder than that is just better in theory. Seriously, leave it to the vampire movies.
7. The "It Feels like I'm Kissing a Dead Person" Kiss
You know where you're doing all the work and the other person just sits there with his mouth open? What a turn-off!
8. The "accidental Kiss"
What's the accidental kiss, you ask? Well you know, when you lean in to do the "hug and kiss on the cheek" routine with someone but you’re not quite sure if he/she is going for your right cheek or left so you sort of hover mid-air until your lips meet and before you realize it….smack! You’ve just accidentally kissed someone…on the mouth! The worst is when it happens with an acquaintance. KILL ME!
9. The "Pecker"
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Yes, pecks are cute but not when it's the only thing you do...over and over. You're not a bird!
10. The "vacuum"
Kissing does not mean trying to suck the life out of someone. Besides, suffocating your partner is NOT romantic!
11. The "I Forgot My Lip Balm" Kiss
Okay, maybe it's not the worst thing on this list, but chapped lips are not fun!
12. The "What's That I Smell?" Kiss
This HAS to be the worst kind of kiss! Please ladies and gentlemen, take a moment to check your breath before you kiss someone and pop a mint if you need to.
I'd love to hear some of your horror kiss stories!
EST 2005
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