Once the bra and skinny jeans come off, we're in for the day, full stop.

Next time, I'm just going to take a selfie, because then I know it'll look like me, at least.

This is why I hate my passport and driver's license. They look this bad, really.

This is me, every 28 days, like clockwork. No lie.

Go ahead, ask me if I'm tired one more time. GO AHEAD.

This one actually made me laugh out loud for real. Raise your hand if your toes are hairless on their own. No? Mine either.

It's not my fault! I blame Ipsy and every makeup tutorial I've ever watched when I look like a raccoon.

Umm, yeah. This is pretty much me too, every run, every time, even after four years.

This, and nail polish. I swear, it's impossible to do ANYTHING for an entire day if you're wearing red lipstick, and/or you've just polished your nails.

I mean, kids and babies are great and all, but kitties? Oh my gosh, even cuter!

I know I have articles to write and photos to edit, but... I mean... the Sims...

This is exactly why I use a period tracking app - so I can peer into the future BEFORE I book my vacation plans.

Honestly when I try this style, it looks like I just forgot to do the rest of my hair. Gigi Hadid I am not.

I'm almost afraid to look, to see just how horrible I look in the photo my so-called friend just tagged me in.

Whyyy can't my mother just text me like everyone else I know does?

Seriously? If it's cold enough for a sweater, then it's too cold for a crop top, right?

Sure, you just spent three hours flat-ironing your hair, and sure, it's only been half an hour... but guess what? It's humid, so now you're going to have the worst bad hair day.

To see more of Cassandra's work -- she's so funny! -- follow her on Instagram at @cassandracalin. She's one of us!