1. I Would, but It Would Be a Complete Waste of Make-up

Mascara is expensive! You don't want to use it all up on a boring day out with your pals. This is one of the best excuses to cancel plans, because by staying inside of the house, you'll save tons of money on beauty products.

2. I Changed the Lock on My Door and Now I Can't Get out

If you physically can't escape your house, then your friends can't blame you for missing out on the fun. It's not your fault, after all. How could they get angry at you for something you can't control?

3. I Don't like People

Here's a blunt one. While there's some decent people out there, many of them are unbearable. If you don't want to be around other humans, just say so. It's hard to argue with.

4. I Have to Go to the Post Office to See if I'm Still Wanted

This should be on the top of your to-do list. How are you supposed to go about your day when you're unsure if the police are looking for you? It's important to check to make sure.

5. I Never Go out on Days That End in "Y"

Since every single day of the week ends with a "Y," you'll never have to leave the house. Why would you want to, anyway? Netlix is right on your computer, and there's plenty of food in your fridge.

6. I Have to Fulfill My Potential

As fun as it is to hang out with your friends, it's not going to help you succeed in life. Tell them you'd rather spend time filling out job applications than seeing the 50 Shades of Grey movie with them.

7. I'm Trying to Be Less Popular

You don't want to be too popular, or everyone will be jealous of you. You have to stay home once in a while to make sure that people don't end up hating you for your perfection.

8. I'm Going to the Missing Persons Bureau to See if Anyone is Looking for Me

It's important to check to see if your family members think you're missing. You wouldn't want them to worry about you.

9. My Palm Reader Advised against It

If you can't trust your palm reader, whom can you trust? You shouldn't leave the house if she warned not to do so. It's common sense.

10. The Man on Television Told Me to Stay Tuned

You never know what's going to pop up next on your television. It could be something important, so you shouldn't walking away from the screen.

11. I Prefer to Remain an Enigma

Men like mysterious women. If you refuse to leave the house, everyone will be wondering about who you really are. It'll make you a huge topic of conversation.

Everyone needs some time to themselves, so don't feel guilty about staying home once in a while. What's the worst excuse someone has ever given you for canceling plans?

Source
you-can-be-funny.com