When I am bored, I often peruse funny one-liners online. Over the years, I have compiled a list of those that made me laugh when I first came across them. Here is a short list of some funny one-liners that may make you smile!
Table of contents:
- normal is just a setting on the dryer -- patsy clairmont
- to err is human, to blame it on someone else is more human -- unknown
- i have not failed. i've just found 10,000 ways that won't work -- thomas edison
- be nice to your kids. they'll choose your nursing home -- unknown
- 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave the house. the rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife -- unknown
- snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough -- earl wilson
- copy from one, it's plagiarism. copy from many, it's research -- wilson mizner
- silence is golden, but duct tape is silver -- unknown
- always remember you're unique, just like everyone else -- margaret mead
1 Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer -- Patsy Clairmont
This is one of those funny one-liners that I keep posted on my fridge. So many people try to compare themselves to some "norm" but this quote points out that "normal" is such an ambiguous term. Who's to say, exactly, what is normal and what is not?
2 To Err is Human, to Blame It on Someone else is More Human -- Unknown
I love this saying because Alexander Pope’s "To err is human" is such a famous quote, and this one-liner throws in a comical (yet somewhat true) twist. I have also heard the version of this that says, “To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential.”
3 I Have Not Failed. I've Just Found 10,000 Ways That Won't Work -- Thomas Edison
This quote can either be funny or motivational. The person who doesn't want to acknowledge his failure can come up with the excuse that he just found a lot of ways that didn't work. The intellectual who has yet to find an answer to a problem can actually make this quote seem optimistic and motivational in that failure can be seen as a way to learn and grow.
4 Be Nice to Your Kids. They'll Choose Your Nursing Home -- Unknown
This one always makes me laugh! I jokingly tell my parents this when they're giving me a hard time about something.
5 90% of Men Kiss Their Wife Goodbye when They Leave the House. the Rest Kiss Their House Goodbye when They Leave the Wife -- Unknown
Just when you think this quote is going in one direction, it flips and turns into something completely different! I highly doubt the statistical accuracy of this saying, but the play on words definitely makes me laugh!
6 Snow and Adolescence Are the Only Problems That Disappear if You Ignore Them Long Enough -- Earl Wilson
We've all heard that if you ignore your problems they won't just disappear, and this quote points out that this is true with the exception of adolescence and snow. It is a comical way of getting an age-old point across.
7 Copy from One, It's Plagiarism. Copy from Many, It's Research -- Wilson Mizner
How true! The use of many peoples' work is considered to be the essence of research while the use of only one person's work is often analogous to plagiarism. How ironic?
8 Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver -- Unknown
I love the play on the "silence is golden" cliché. While silence may be golden, that which can promote silence is silver.
9 Always Remember You're Unique, Just like Everyone else -- Margaret Mead
This callous twist on being yourself makes me laugh. It's almost as if the quote is sardonically saying that you shouldn't feel too special for being different because everyone else is different too.
I love having a good laugh from time to time, and funny one-liners are a great source of entertainment if I’m looking to lighten my mood. What other funny one-liners have you heard?
Please rate this article