There are some truths about apartment living that I think you should know about. My family of four (plus a goofy golden retriever) lugged our remaining possessions into the second floor, two-bedroom, 950 square foot apartment. We had sold our home, most of our furniture (including beds and couches), and all our décor. Why? Eighteen months ago, we embarked on our dream project – to find some land, build a small ultra-modern home, put in a pool, and live with less material things. We were opting for the great outdoors and seeking some peace and quiet, none of which we can be found living in a huge neighborhood. They can’t be found in apartment living either.
We expected to be in this apartment for four months, perhaps six at most. Six rolled into seven. Then it became eight. Finally, nine. Now, we are moving into our tenth month living on top of each other in this apartment that has only a kitchen table, small loveseat, and mattresses on the floor.
During this not-so-epic journey, I am coping by compiling “Apartment Living Truths.” Maybe I’ll reach 100 by the time we move out. So many friends and social media followers have commented about how funny they are, so I thought I’d share my favorites. Why don’t you judge for yourself, and perhaps add some of your own at the end! Here are my truths about apartment living.
1. Apartment Living Truth #54
At 12 AM, the noise is from below. At 6 AM the commotion is from above. In between, it's your own hullabaloo.
2. Apartment Living Truth #82
If you expect maintenance to fix something within 8 days, lower your expectations.
3. Apartment Living Truth #17
I am a middle aged white woman. I do not like being called "Boo Boo" or "Boom Boom" or whatever it was by the apartment leasing agent.
4. Apartment Living Truth #90
In one room alone, we have a kitchen table, a triathlon bike, art supplies, and a giraffe.
5. Apartment Living Truth #15
PSA: Going in the outside hall does not make your phone convos more private.
6. Apartment Living Truth #83
The vacuum cleaner cord is long enough to reach every corner.
7. Apartment Living Truth #43
The undrivable car with the 4-month old flat tire will be in the prime parking space.
8. Apartment Living Truth #21
When your kids make cookies for the whole building, even the drug dealers start saying hi.
9. Apartment Living Truth #91
"Is that a new bullet hole in the window of the car parked next to mine? ... Cool!" said no one ever!
10. Apartment Living Truth #50
Just like your waistline, your car will never be the same. I want my garage back. #whodentedmyride
11. Apartment Living Truth #82
You actually CAN carry 14 grocery bags, a bag of dog food, & a gallon of OJ in one trip up the stairs!
12. Apartment Living Truth #69
Making whoopie in a car at 1:30 pm in the apartment parking lot is a thing.
13. Apartment Living Truth #12
Yelling & slamming doors is only permitted between the hours of 11:00 pm & 3:00 am (along w/ vacuuming and crying babies).
14. Apartment Living Truth #98
Skunk or weed?
15. Apartment Living Truth #55
Securing a parking spot in front of your own building becomes a competitive sport. #todayIwin