Expelliarmus might be good for disarming a girl from her lipstick. Petrificus totalis could be just the spell you need when you want to get away from that guy in the bar who just won’t stop hitting on you. But really, how many times will you need to shout alarte ascendare to get rid of a snake from your floor? And although I do admit accio would come in very useful on quite a few occasions (lost keys, misplaced phone, lost kid …), we modern girls need modern spells to cope with the modern world. Spells just like these:
1 Puckerus Lippicus
Naturally it means “kiss me” so a simple flick of your wand will have your mate puckering up for a smacker.
Frequently asked questions
2 Tempus Extentia
For any time when you’re running late, this incantation will magically find you an extra half hour
3 Massapedicus
You’ve been on your feet all day and you really need a foot rub.
4 Auto Startara
For cold winter mornings. Point your wand at your car and say the spell. Your car will start and be defrosted and warm and toasty when you climb in.
5 Plugusearus
The perfect incantation to block out the droning colleague or a boring conversation
6 Chargio
Tap your phone with your wand for an instant charge of 30 minutes.
7 Huggus Envelopia
You’ve had a tough day and now all you really need is a hug. If your SO isn’t forthcoming, prompt them with this spell.
8 Takeout Deliverus
Can’t be arsed to cook tonight? Use a spell to order your favorite takeout – no internet or phone required, as your order is transmitted by magic waves.
9 Maquillage Expellia
It’s 2am and you’re too tired for your usual 15 minute makeup removal routine. Here’s the shortcut spell.
10 Closetus Fashionus
Can’t decide what to wear? Let magic work its, well, erm … magic to put an outfit together for you.
11 Arachnaexcluda
Scared of spiders (just like Ron!)? A twitch of your wand will expel your unwanted guest to the outdoors.
12 Tubbus Acquafillium
Set a relaxing, frothy bubble bath running while you grab a bottle of wine and some candles.
13 Pettus Parambulatus
Can’t be bothered to walk Rover? Here’s the spell for that.
14 Liquoreradicus
The instant, magical cure for a hangover.
15 Remotus Operandus
So you don’t have to put your wand down to pick up the remote control during a Netflix binge.
16 Pingus Automaticus
Set the microwave to work on tonight’s supper.
17 Pullus Coverus Backupus
Makes your bed in the morning - simply so you don’t have to.
18 Reversa Perfecta
If you are one of those women who men say can’t park, this is exactly the spell you need. You can also use trespunta machina for the perfect three point turn.
19 Nippla Inverta
For those embarrassing moments when your nipples decide to stand out like chapel hat pegs.
20 Pickelus Openus
Finally – an end to the problem of the stubborn new pickle jar lid.
21 Matchsticka Eyelidica
Exactly what you need when you’ve stayed up till dawn reading that book you simply couldn’t put down.
22 Divertimenti
This is an ideal little spell that brings you something to do when your internet connection is down. It will stop you bashing at the keys and shouting “connect you sonofabitch!”
23 Menstrua Magica
Isn’t this what every girl need? A spell to banish those pesky cramps!
24 Brewusjava
Goes to work on your morning coffee while you make yourself beautiful for the day.
26 Handymanholographia
Why bother changing a light bulb, rewiring a plug, or putting up your own shelf when you can call on a hunk from the magic kingdom to do it all for you.
27 Follicalio
Having a bad hair day? Forget it with this fix-it spell.
28 Tidierensortia
The clean up incantation that does all the housework with just a flick and swish of your wand.
29 Conjuriusnourisha
Have dinner (or breakfast or lunch) ready in seconds.
30 Textuserasus
Take back that message you really, really shouldn't have sent.
Let’s forget the bubble headed charm and confundus because we need spells to cope with the trials and tribulations of modern life. But I do admit I would totally use the bat-bogey hex. Which spell do you think JK Rowling should have created?
