Expelliarmus might be good for disarming a girl from her lipstick. Petrificus totalis could be just the spell you need when you want to get away from that guy in the bar who just won’t stop hitting on you. But really, how many times will you need to shout alarte ascendare to get rid of a snake from your floor? And although I do admit accio would come in very useful on quite a few occasions (lost keys, misplaced phone, lost kid …), we modern girls need modern spells to cope with the modern world. Spells just like these:
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Naturally it means “kiss me” so a simple flick of your wand will have your mate puckering up for a smacker.
For any time when you’re running late, this incantation will magically find you an extra half hour
You’ve been on your feet all day and you really need a foot rub.
For cold winter mornings. Point your wand at your car and say the spell. Your car will start and be defrosted and warm and toasty when you climb in.
The perfect incantation to block out the droning colleague or a boring conversation
Tap your phone with your wand for an instant charge of 30 minutes.
You’ve had a tough day and now all you really need is a hug. If your SO isn’t forthcoming, prompt them with this spell.
Can’t be arsed to cook tonight? Use a spell to order your favorite takeout – no internet or phone required, as your order is transmitted by magic waves.
It’s 2am and you’re too tired for your usual 15 minute makeup removal routine. Here’s the shortcut spell.
Can’t decide what to wear? Let magic work its, well, erm … magic to put an outfit together for you.
Scared of spiders (just like Ron!)? A twitch of your wand will expel your unwanted guest to the outdoors.
Set a relaxing, frothy bubble bath running while you grab a bottle of wine and some candles.
Can’t be bothered to walk Rover? Here’s the spell for that.
The instant, magical cure for a hangover.
So you don’t have to put your wand down to pick up the remote control during a Netflix binge.
Set the microwave to work on tonight’s supper.
Pullus Coverus Backupus
Makes your bed in the morning - simply so you don’t have to.
If you are one of those women who men say can’t park, this is exactly the spell you need. You can also use trespunta machina for the perfect three point turn.
For those embarrassing moments when your nipples decide to stand out like chapel hat pegs.
Finally – an end to the problem of the stubborn new pickle jar lid.
Exactly what you need when you’ve stayed up till dawn reading that book you simply couldn’t put down.
This is an ideal little spell that brings you something to do when your internet connection is down. It will stop you bashing at the keys and shouting “connect you sonofabitch!”
Isn’t this what every girl need? A spell to banish those pesky cramps!
Goes to work on your morning coffee while you make yourself beautiful for the day.
Why bother changing a light bulb, rewiring a plug, or putting up your own shelf when you can call on a hunk from the magic kingdom to do it all for you.
Having a bad hair day? Forget it with this fix-it spell.
The clean up incantation that does all the housework with just a flick and swish of your wand.
Have dinner (or breakfast or lunch) ready in seconds.
Take back that message you really, really shouldn't have sent.
Let’s forget the bubble headed charm and confundus because we need spells to cope with the trials and tribulations of modern life. But I do admit I would totally use the bat-bogey hex. Which spell do you think JK Rowling should have created?
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