All Women's Talk

Modern Harry Potter Spells That Would Make a Woman's Life Easier ...

By Neecey

Expelliarmus might be good for disarming a girl from her lipstick. Petrificus totalis could be just the spell you need when you want to get away from that guy in the bar who just won’t stop hitting on you. But really, how many times will you need to shout alarte ascendare to get rid of a snake from your floor? And although I do admit accio would come in very useful on quite a few occasions (lost keys, misplaced phone, lost kid …), we modern girls need modern spells to cope with the modern world. Spells just like these:

1 Puckerus Lippicus

Puckerus Lippicus Naturally it means “kiss me” so a simple flick of your wand will have your mate puckering up for a smacker.

2 Tempus Extentia

Tempus Extentia For any time when you’re running late, this incantation will magically find you an extra half hour

3 Massapedicus

Massapedicus You’ve been on your feet all day and you really need a foot rub.

4 Auto Startara

Auto Startara For cold winter mornings. Point your wand at your car and say the spell. Your car will start and be defrosted and warm and toasty when you climb in.

5 Plugusearus

Plugusearus The perfect incantation to block out the droning colleague or a boring conversation

6 Chargio

Chargio Tap your phone with your wand for an instant charge of 30 minutes.

7 Huggus Envelopia

Huggus Envelopia You’ve had a tough day and now all you really need is a hug. If your SO isn’t forthcoming, prompt them with this spell.

8 Takeout Deliverus

Takeout Deliverus Can’t be arsed to cook tonight? Use a spell to order your favorite takeout – no internet or phone required, as your order is transmitted by magic waves.

9 Maquillage Expellia

Maquillage Expellia It’s 2am and you’re too tired for your usual 15 minute makeup removal routine. Here’s the shortcut spell.

10 Closetus Fashionus

Closetus Fashionus Can’t decide what to wear? Let magic work its, well, erm … magic to put an outfit together for you.

11 Arachnaexcluda

Arachnaexcluda Scared of spiders (just like Ron!)? A twitch of your wand will expel your unwanted guest to the outdoors.

12 Tubbus Acquafillium

Tubbus Acquafillium Set a relaxing, frothy bubble bath running while you grab a bottle of wine and some candles.

13 Pettus Parambulatus

Pettus Parambulatus Can’t be bothered to walk Rover? Here’s the spell for that.

14 Liquoreradicus

Liquoreradicus The instant, magical cure for a hangover.

15 Remotus Operandus

Remotus Operandus So you don’t have to put your wand down to pick up the remote control during a Netflix binge.

16 Pingus Automaticus

Pingus Automaticus Set the microwave to work on tonight’s supper.

17 Pullus Coverus Backupus

Pullus Coverus Backupus Makes your bed in the morning - simply so you don’t have to.

18 Reversa Perfecta

Reversa Perfecta If you are one of those women who men say can’t park, this is exactly the spell you need. You can also use trespunta machina for the perfect three point turn.

19 Nippla Inverta

Nippla Inverta For those embarrassing moments when your nipples decide to stand out like chapel hat pegs.

20 Pickelus Openus

Pickelus Openus Finally – an end to the problem of the stubborn new pickle jar lid.

21 Matchsticka Eyelidica

Matchsticka Eyelidica Exactly what you need when you’ve stayed up till dawn reading that book you simply couldn’t put down.

22 Divertimenti

This is an ideal little spell that brings you something to do when your internet connection is down. It will stop you bashing at the keys and shouting “connect you sonofabitch!”

23 Menstrua Magica

Isn’t this what every girl need? A spell to banish those pesky cramps!

24 Brewusjava

Brewusjava Goes to work on your morning coffee while you make yourself beautiful for the day.

26 Handymanholographia

Handymanholographia Why bother changing a light bulb, rewiring a plug, or putting up your own shelf when you can call on a hunk from the magic kingdom to do it all for you.

27 Follicalio

Follicalio Having a bad hair day? Forget it with this fix-it spell.

28 Tidierensortia

Tidierensortia The clean up incantation that does all the housework with just a flick and swish of your wand.

29 Conjuriusnourisha

Conjuriusnourisha Have dinner (or breakfast or lunch) ready in seconds.

30 Textuserasus

Textuserasus Take back that message you really, really shouldn't have sent.

Let’s forget the bubble headed charm and confundus because we need spells to cope with the trials and tribulations of modern life. But I do admit I would totally use the bat-bogey hex. Which spell do you think JK Rowling should have created?

Please rate this article

More

Comments

Popular

Recent