Being introverted is simultaneously awesome and awful. It goes so far beyond the bounds of shyness, plus you often get mistaken for just being an asshole. People think you're blowing them off constantly when you're really just so awkward that you make yourself cringe on a daily basis, not to mention that you're genuinely cool with being on your own. It's hard to explain that you need at least twenty-four hours to recuperate after being “on” for some event, whether it's an intimate get-together or a concert. If you're an introvert, you'll get these moments instantly. If you're not, maybe you'll understand your introverted associates a little better.
Your most desperate wish is for your eyes to fall out of your head. It never happens.
Leaving at the end of the night is such a relief, no matter how much you love the company, but then you find out that your long goodbye was entirely premature and now you have no idea what to say.
Yes, you want to go! But no, god, you never want to leave your house! You say yes almost always. From there, you either begin thinking up a reason to get out of it immediately or passively pray for your friend to cancel.
Trying to read brand new people when you didn't even expect it is so awful and awkward and draining. If you are introverted and mean as cat dirt, like me, you sometimes dislike friends of friends on sight just because of that.
Fear of missing out isn't the introvert's constant companion, necessarily, but it pops up from time to time. Why is it socially awkward? Because even when you regret missing out on something that looks fun in retrospect, you can't say it because you know it's your own damn fault.
Please don't. Please don't. Please, please, please sit somewhere else, I don't dislike you but if you talk to me I will cringe to death and die.
Ditto your dentist, your doctor, the lady doing your nails, the guy checking out your groceries … Small talk is the devil.
Oh em gee, thank you! I had no idea that's all it takes!
Or for takeout. Or Home Depot. Basically, anywhere that still relies on humans.
Especially at fast food places and Starbucks. These places are hell.
Even when you know your answer is brilliant and articulate and so on point. It's just such mental agony.
Because they mean you need to go out for cocktails and team dinners and you would rather pull out your toenails than participate like that.
Introverts and Resting Bitch Face go together like peanut butter and bananas.
Theoretically, it's a good idea, but then suddenly they're right there in the kitchen when you get up and they don't go home for like three days.
Wouldn't you rather just quit school/work/life altogether, just to get away from the living torture that is the “group project”?
Never works. You either look mad or become the most awkward person in the universe.
Oh, there's nothing in the world like it. It's better than taking off your bra.
That last one always hits home for me, every single time. The hard thing about being introverted is that you love your friends and family so much, you just have to spend some time by yourself to reenergize. What situations set you on edge?
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