Being introverted is simultaneously awesome and awful. It goes so far beyond the bounds of shyness, plus you often get mistaken for just being an asshole. People think you're blowing them off constantly when you're really just so awkward that you make yourself cringe on a daily basis, not to mention that you're genuinely cool with being on your own. It's hard to explain that you need at least twenty-four hours to recuperate after being “on” for some event, whether it's an intimate get-together or a concert. If you're an introvert, you'll get these moments instantly. If you're not, maybe you'll understand your introverted associates a little better.
1 Accidentally Making Eye Contact with Someone
Your most desperate wish is for your eyes to fall out of your head. It never happens.
2 Going in the Same Direction as Someone else
Leaving at the end of the night is such a relief, no matter how much you love the company, but then you find out that your long goodbye was entirely premature and now you have no idea what to say.
3 Your Friend Invites You out
Yes, you want to go! But no, god, you never want to leave your house! You say yes almost always. From there, you either begin thinking up a reason to get out of it immediately or passively pray for your friend to cancel.
4 Your Friend Brings Guests without Notice
Trying to read brand new people when you didn't even expect it is so awful and awkward and draining. If you are introverted and mean as cat dirt, like me, you sometimes dislike friends of friends on sight just because of that.
5 Suffering from FOMO
Fear of missing out isn't the introvert's constant companion, necessarily, but it pops up from time to time. Why is it socially awkward? Because even when you regret missing out on something that looks fun in retrospect, you can't say it because you know it's your own damn fault.
6 Whenever a Stranger Sits beside You Anywhere
Please don't. Please don't. Please, please, please sit somewhere else, I don't dislike you but if you talk to me I will cringe to death and die.
7 Making Small Talk with Your Stylist
Ditto your dentist, your doctor, the lady doing your nails, the guy checking out your groceries … Small talk is the devil.
8 When Someone Tells You to Push Your Limits and Get out More
Oh em gee, thank you! I had no idea that's all it takes!
9 Calling Customer Service
Or for takeout. Or Home Depot. Basically, anywhere that still relies on humans.
10 Placing Your Food/drink Order
Especially at fast food places and Starbucks. These places are hell.
11 Preparing to Raise Your Hand in Class
Even when you know your answer is brilliant and articulate and so on point. It's just such mental agony.
12 People at Work Telling You to Network More
Because they mean you need to go out for cocktails and team dinners and you would rather pull out your toenails than participate like that.
13 Getting Asked if You're Angry, All Day Long
Introverts and Resting Bitch Face go together like peanut butter and bananas.
14 Inviting Somebody to Stay in Your House
Theoretically, it's a good idea, but then suddenly they're right there in the kitchen when you get up and they don't go home for like three days.
15 When You're Informed of a Group Project
Wouldn't you rather just quit school/work/life altogether, just to get away from the living torture that is the “group project”?
16 Trying to Flirt
Never works. You either look mad or become the most awkward person in the universe.
17 When You're Finally Alone after a Day with People
Oh, there's nothing in the world like it. It's better than taking off your bra.
That last one always hits home for me, every single time. The hard thing about being introverted is that you love your friends and family so much, you just have to spend some time by yourself to reenergize. What situations set you on edge?