When you're joking around with your friends, you'll need some clever comebacks in order to make them laugh. Sometimes it's hard to think on the spot, so it's helpful to have some phrases picked out ahead of time. Here are some clever comebacks that you can use the next time you're playfully arguing with your pals. Just make sure that you don't actually hurt their feelings in the process, because these phrases are meant to be fun, not hurtful.
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1. Two Faces in One Woman
"If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty." This is one of the clever comebacks that you can use when your friend keeps changing her attitude. If you can't tell what she's really thinking, because she keeps acting like a different person, then use this phrase on her. Of course, make it obvious that you're joking. You don't want to turn your playful banter into an actual fight.
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It's a funny way to point out someone's inconsistency. Sure, we all have our moments, but when your gal pal's personality is flipping more than a gymnast at the Olympics, this quip can lighten the mood. Just flash her your cheekiest grin when you say it, and she'll likely laugh it off. Remember, the goal is to keep things lighthearted and friendly – not to send her rushing for a mirror to check which face she's wearing today!
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
2. No Need for Nastiness
"I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one." This is a playful phrase to use whenever someone makes a face at you. Instead of making a face back, you can spit out this comeback, and watch them smile. It's sure to get a laugh.
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This zinger exploits the element of surprise, turning a potentially tense moment into an opportunity for humor. It works well because it acknowledges the silliness of the situation. Instead of escalating the tension, you're choosing to diffuse it with wit. The best part? It often disarms the other person, making it harder for them to stay grumpy. So if you're aiming to keep the atmosphere light and avoid any real nastiness, this clever retort is your go-to quip. Just be ready with a playful smile to really sell the jest.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
3. Honesty's the Best Policy
"I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth." You've been taught since childhood that you should always be honest, and this comeback uses that to its advantage. You shouldn't lie to someone, right? We've always been taught that it's wrong to fib.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
4. Forget Me Not
Groucho Marx once said, "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.'' It's a great comeback that beats a simple, "You're ugly." Of course, remind your friend of how beautiful she actually is once your 'argument' is over. You don't want her to get self-conscious over a joke.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
5. Don't Waste My Time
Groucho had another great line, which is, "Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you." It's short, sweet, and to the point. There's no misunderstanding it.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
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6. Animals Are Better Company
Mae West once said, "Your mother should have thrown you away and kept the stork." It's a common lie to tell children that a stork delivers babies, so that parents don't have to explain the actual mating process. That's what makes this joke so great--even though the stork is nonexistent, it's still better company than your friend.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
7. Like Talking to a Child
"I know I’m talking like an idiot. I have to, otherwise you wouldn’t understand what I'm saying." This is a more clever way to say something simple like, "You're stupid." It should catch your friend off guard, and make them laugh, so the 'argument' won't last much longer. You're going to win it, because you'll be the only one still capable of keeping a straight face.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
8. No One Cares
"You must have me confused with someone who cares." Use this line when you're sick of listening to someone talk. You shouldn't have to pretend that you're interested in what they're blabbering on about. Just tell them the cold, hard truth.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
9. Natural Selection
"I'll leave you alone. Darwin will take care of you." There's no reason for you to deal with a moron when Darwin's theory states that the weakest of a species will die out. It's only a matter of time.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
10. Fair Fight
"I would engage in a battle of wits with you, but I never attack someone who is unarmed." This is the best way to tell someone that you know you're smarter with them. The best part? If they're truly as mindless as you claim, they won't even understand the insult.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
11. Busy Bee
"I`m busy right now, can I ignore you some other day?" Your schedule is full, so you have no time to deal with stupidity. There's a lot more that you could do with your time. Don't waste it.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
12. Sweet Silence
"I really wish your mouth had a snooze button." If the person you're talking to doesn't understand that they need to shut up, this line is the best way to explain it to them. Don't let them keep talking when they're spitting out nonsense.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
13. Verbal Victory
"Well, I would punch you, but I just did it verbally ten times." If you've been going back and fourth with someone for a while and they want the verbal fight to escalate to a physical one, use this line. It lets them know that you've already won the battle, so there's no need for violence.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
14. People Person
"Do I look like a people person?" When you've had enough of your conversation, but don't want them to think you hate them, tell them that you're just not interested in fellow humans. You'd rather spend your day with dogs. Most people will understand, because they'll feel the same.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
15. Alien Invasion
"Earth is full. Go home." Nothing will alienate someone more than calling them an extraterrestrial creature. Hopefully they'll listen to you right away and head on home.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
16. Flesh and Bones
"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable." If a guy gets mad at you for turning him down, here's how to respond. No one should get mean after being rejected. It's called being a sore loser.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
17. Killer Kisses
"If you don't shut up I will kiss you." If the person you're talking to really hates you, then this will make them quiet. Or maybe you'll just land an unexpected kiss and your enemy will turn into a lover.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
18. Incapable of Understanding
"There's no point in trying to make you understand as you are incapable of it." When you're sick and tired of trying to explain why you're right, it's okay to give up. Some people are just lost causes.
Great timing and knowing when to use humor to defuse tension work wonders!
Knowing your audience is key! Keep it light and read the room so your humor lands well.
Sometimes a little sass is needed, but always make sure it's playful and not hurtful.
A witty one-liner that leaves everyone laughing can be a great way to wrap things up.
Keep it clever, not cutting, and always respect your opposite number. Humor should build bridges, not burn them.
19. What a Woman
"I'm more of a woman than you'll ever have, and more of a man than you'll ever be." This is the ultimate insult, because it allows you to criticize a man on multiple levels. Just make sure you say it with a smile!
You don't want to actually insult your friends, which is why these playful comebacks are perfect to use whenever you're having a fake argument. You don't want to hurt their feelings, so make sure they understand you're just goofing around. What's the best comeback you've ever given when joking around with your buddies?
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Comments
Scarlet: Hilarious:3 I'm definitely going to use them
Maddie: @mtaycooljay -- nice, those are some of the best, I know I won't remember them though😂
Stiles.Girl: #2 used this one right after i read it
Tammy: I have heard these before too. They are just clever ways to be rude. If you don't want to talk to someone, excuse yourself and leave them where they stand. Why do we need a course in snappy negativity? I used to be frustrated when I was caught speechless after being insulted or caught off guard. I thought I needed to know a snappy comeback too. But I came to realize that my mind and body's response really protected me. I didn't say anything I would regret! If you really are feeling like you need a guide, a great book called "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defence"
peony: I do comebacks...the silent treatment!
Cassidy: Umm most of these will not go over well with my friends who have a... Lower IQ
Victoria: How immature. These are not to be said to a friend because they won't b taken lightly. They r quite offensive.
boba: this is VERY tacky
Thisismylife: These are hilarious! I wouldn't use them on my friends though I have a whole list of people they would be great to use on !! 😛
duje: Quite immature to be honest
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