9 of the Wittiest Puns You Must Hear ...


A cheesy one-liner sits somewhere near the top of my guilty pleasures list and I have a knack of coming up with some of the wittiest puns this side of Lincoln. There is a joy in the creative side of such an art as well as the inevitable moans and groans that a joke of such simplicity can bring. A quirky piece of word play can lighten up the darkest of rooms and leave the masses in fits of laughter. Please enjoy some of my favourite wittiest puns – I guarantee they will brighten up your day. After all, laughter is the best form of medicine.

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Velcro – What a Rip off

Comedy is like anything in life - at its finest when it is kept simple and this philosophy can be applied to all of the wittiest puns you are about to get a taste of. Feel your stomach muscles ache as these five words are uttered in your direction. That’s right, just five words. It’s easy this comedy business wouldn’t you agree?


I Used to Have a Fear of Hurdles, but I Got over It

A brilliant combination of phobia and a very difficult Olympic event involving running whilst jumping over an obstacle at speed. I still suffer terribly from the fear of flying (or is it falling) so this joke I can strongly relate to on a personal level. Then again, everyone has some kind of fear don’t they?


I Really Wanted a Camouflage Shirt, but I Couldn't Find One

We have all been there right? Rummaging through every shelf and browsing every aisle looking for that one item we had set our sights on at the start of the day. This is a great example of when a pun provides a real life situation in your head. You found that shirt yet?


The One Who Invented the Door Knocker Got a No-bell Prize

This pun makes me think of a ‘knock knock’ joke and would serve as a natural progression from what is arguably the best-known format of the pun. Nobody tells jokes for awards as surely the sole purpose is to make people laugh? This one however, is a winner in my eyes.


Need an Ark to save Two of Every Animal? I Noah Guy

A fantastic biblical reference. Not all puns come in two by two, but this one really does push the boat out. Expect this one to go down well with your favourite disciple.


I Did a Theatrical Performance about Puns. Really It Was Just a Play on Words

Puns really are about the genius and brains behind a clever piece of word play. This uncanny ability is epitomised perfectly in this witticism perfect for any curtain-raiser. Shakespeare would be proud.


When Peter Pan Punches, They Neverland

Oh the irony. When I think of Peter Pan, I think of a fairy tale. I am struggling to think of any Walt Disney animations which contain violence so this adds further satire to this wisecrack. Much like the story, this pun turns from something ordinary into something rather extraordinary.


Always Trust a Glue Salesman. They Tend to Stick to Their Word

Again this is something many of us can relate to in everyday life. Sales people come to the front door and very often we question their authenticity. Whether its PVA glue or pritt stick being sold, you are unlikely to come unstuck if you tell this witty remark to your family and friends.


I Wondered Why the Baseball Was Getting Bigger and Bigger. then It Hit Me

My initial reaction after hearing this joke for the first time was “ow!” At first it makes you ponder and then superbly combines the thought process with the actual motion of being hit the ball. Just make sure you catch it next time.

I hope these puns made you smile and brightened up your day. The one-liner is without doubt an underrated art and it is incredible that new jokes in this style come to the fore so frequently. Their light-hearted and refreshing approach reminds me not to take life too seriously and that laughter really can make a positive impact on your day. What other puns have left you in hysterics?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

Hahahahahahha these are hilarious but cheesy xD

I wouldn't consider these that whitty

@eli agreed

I love it !


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