9 of the Wittiest Puns and Corny One Liners to Brighten Your Day

Velcro – What a Rip off • I Used to Have a Fear of Hurdles, but I Got over It • I Really Wanted a Camouflage Shirt, but I Couldn't Find One • The One Who Invented the Door Knocker Got a No-bell Prize • Need an Ark to save Two of Every Animal? I Noah Guy • More ...

By Breton • Jul 14, 2014 MD

A cheesy one-liner sits somewhere near the top of my guilty pleasures list, and I have a knack for coming up with some of the wittiest puns this side of Lincoln. There is a joy in the creative side of such an art, as well as the inevitable moans and groans that a joke of such simplicity can bring. A quirky piece of wordplay can lighten up the darkest of rooms and leave the masses in fits of laughter. Please enjoy some of my favorite wittiest puns – I guarantee they will brighten your day. After all, laughter is the best form of medicine, and you can read more about the benefits of laughter to see why one liner puns are so effective.

Before we continue, here is why puns are the ultimate comedic tool:

  • They require quick thinking and a sharp wit.
  • They are perfect for breaking the ice in any social situation.
  • Even the "bad" ones usually get a smile (or a groan).

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1. Velcro – What a Rip off

Comedy is like anything in life: at its finest when it is kept simple. This philosophy can be applied to all of the wittiest puns you are about to get a taste of. Feel your stomach muscles ache as these five words are uttered in your direction. That’s right, just five words. It’s easy, this comedy business, wouldn’t you agree?

2. I Used to Have a Fear of Hurdles, but I Got over It

A brilliant combination of a phobia and a very difficult event. You can learn more about the technical side of the sport at the World Athletics official site. I still suffer terribly from the fear of flying (or is it falling?), so this joke I can strongly relate to on a personal level. Then again, everyone has some kind of fear, don’t they?

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3. I Really Wanted a Camouflage Shirt, but I Couldn't Find One

We have all been there, right? Rummaging through every shelf and browsing every aisle looking for that one item we had set our sights on at the start of the day. This is a great example of when a pun provides a real-life situation in your head. Have you found that shirt yet?

4. The One Who Invented the Door Knocker Got a No-bell Prize

This pun makes me think of a "knock-knock" joke and would serve as a natural progression from what is arguably the best-known format of the pun. Nobody tells jokes for awards, as surely the sole purpose is to make people laugh? This one, however, is a winner in my eyes.

5. Need an Ark to save Two of Every Animal? I Noah Guy

A fantastic biblical reference. Not all puns come in two-by-two, but this one really does push the boat out. Expect this one to go down well with your favorite disciple. Much like the wordplay in the next section, it relies on a clever twist of language.

6. I Did a Theatrical Performance about Puns. Really It Was Just a Play on Words

Puns really are about the genius and brains behind a clever piece of wordplay. This uncanny ability is epitomized perfectly in this witticism, perfect for any curtain-raiser. Shakespeare would be proud of these corny one liner puns.

7. When Peter Pan Punches, They Neverland

Oh, the irony. When I think of Peter Pan, I think of a fairy tale. If you love fairy tale puns or are searching for the best peter pan jokes, peter puns, and peter pan jokes one liners, this adds further satire to the wisecrack. These pan puns really take flight! Much like the story, this pun turns from something ordinary into something rather extraordinary. You can find more classic characters at the official Disney website.

8. Always Trust a Glue Salesman. They Tend to Stick to Their Word

Again, this is something many of us can relate to in everyday life. Salespeople come to the front door, and very often we question their authenticity. Whether it's Elmer's Glue or a generic stick being sold, you are unlikely to come unstuck if you tell this witty remark to your family and friends. It’s one of those essential glue puns that every jokester should have in their arsenal. For those who love puns about glue and glue jokes, this one really sticks.

9. I Wondered Why the Baseball Was Getting Bigger and Bigger. then It Hit Me

My initial reaction after hearing this joke for the first time was “ow!” At first, it makes you ponder and then superbly combines the thought process with the actual motion of being hit by the ball. Just make sure you catch it next time. Check out more funny one liners to keep the laughs going.

To help you decide which pun to use next, here is a quick comparison of our top picks:

Pun CategoryVibeBest Audience
Daily LifeRelatableFriends & Family
Classic FictionWhimsicalKids & Disney Fans
WordplayCleverCo-workers

I hope these puns made you smile and brightened up your day. The one-liner is without doubt an underrated art, and it is incredible that new jokes in this style come to the fore so frequently. Their light-hearted and refreshing approach reminds me not to take life too seriously and that laughter really can make a positive impact on your day. What other puns have left you in hysterics?

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Carma

    2014-08-09T03:12:10.729Z

    Hahahahahahha these are hilarious but cheesy xD
  • Divya

    2014-07-14T13:08:48.001Z

    @eli agreed
  • Shanne

    2015-01-17T20:11:15.332Z

    I love it !
  • CrazyGirl

    2014-07-14T15:28:14.596Z

    Cheesy!
  • eli

    2014-07-14T10:54:20.326Z

    I wouldn't consider these that whitty
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