When a certain guy just won't get the hint that you're not interested, you'll have to make your feelings obvious. Saying "no" politely doesn't always work, which is why you might have to be a little more blunt. Here are the funniest responses to use when turning down a date:
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1. I No Longer do Things That Make Me Want to Vomit
Life is too short to waste time doing things that you hate. If you don't want to date a guy, don't feel guilty about turning him down. You have to do what makes you the happiest.
2. It Wouldn't Be Fair to My Other Suitors
You're amazing, so there are bound to be plenty of other men that are interested in you. Think of how miserable they'd be if you accepted a date with someone else. You're just being polite by staying single.
Frequently asked questions
Honestly, a bit of humor can go a long way! You can say something like, 'Sorry, my love life is under warranty, and dates aren't included.' It keeps it light and hopefully no hard feelings.
Absolutely! Just be sure it's clear and considerate. You could text something like, 'I’ve checked my schedule, and it looks like it’s a no from me, dawg.' It's funny but direct.
That's a good point! Always follow up with a more straightforward message if they seem confused. You can mix humor and honesty to ensure they understand your intent.
Sure, but make sure it’s not mean. The goal is to decline without hurting feelings. Something like, 'I’d rather be home binge-watching my favorite show,' keeps it light.
Yes, it can! The key is to keep it kind. 'I’m flattered, but I’m in a committed relationship with Netflix right now,' is an example that’s playful yet respectful.
3. I’d Rather Stick a Needle in My Eye. or Yours
Spending time with particular people can be the worst type of torture. If you'd rather feel physical pain than deal with the emotional pain of sitting through a dinner with him, let him know.
4. I Don't Want to Leave My Comfort Zone
This one is simple and sweet. Plus, it doesn't even insult him, so he should be happy with the response. You could've been much meaner.
5. It Would Cause the Slow Death of My Soul
Your soul is an important part of you. You wouldn't want to destroy it, so you have to be careful about whom you spend time with. It's just the way it is.
***
It is important to be mindful of the people we surround ourselves with, as they can have a significant impact on our lives. When it comes to dating, it is important to choose someone who is compatible with us and our lifestyle. Saying no to a date can be difficult, but it is sometimes necessary in order to protect our soul. Spending time with someone who is not right for us can cause us to feel drained and empty. It is important to be aware of this and make sure that we are taking care of our soul by choosing partners that are compatible with us.
6. I Know Someone That Would Be a Better Fit for You. I’ll Email You Her Information
If he's too gross for you, but perfect for your pal, pass him off to her. Matchmaking is always fun, especially when it gets you off the hook.
7. How Much Are You Willing to Pay Me?
This will make it clear that you wouldn't be caught dead with him, unless he handed you a huge paycheck. A few bucks won't cut it. He needs to break out the big money.
8. I Would Love to Say Yes, but That Would Be Stupid
If you've seen Jim Carrey's film, Yes Man, you already know that it's not a great idea to agree to everything. Use that big brain of yours. You have the right to say "yes" or "no" accordingly.
***
In the movie Yes Man, Jim Carrey plays a character who says "yes" to every opportunity, regardless of whether it is beneficial or not. This leads him to a series of funny and sometimes disastrous situations. The lesson of the movie is that it is important to think before you act and to use your own judgement when making decisions. Saying "no" is sometimes the best option, even if it may seem like a let-down. Saying "no" can be difficult, but it is important to remember that it is okay to turn down a date if it is not something that you want to do.
9. My Palm Reader Advised against It
Everyone knows you have to listen to your palm reader. She knows you like the back of your hand!
10. If Only I Had a Clone with Worse Taste than Me
If you had a clone, you could order them to do all the things you didn't want to do. If they had bad taste, then they might even enjoy the horrible dates you'd send them on.
11. You Can't Touch This
Instead of saying this line, you should sing it. If you have a radio with you, then you can just blast the song so that you don't have to utter a word.
12. I'd Never Date a Guy Who'd like Someone like Me
This one's great, because it makes fun of yourself instead of him. Don't be embarrassed to tell him how horrible it would be to date you. Let him know he's better off on his own.
13. Thursday’s out. How about Never? is Never Good for You?
He can't be mad at you for this one. I mean, you're at least trying to reschedule with him. He should appreciate the effort.
If someone has a crush on you, be polite to them. Of course, if you've turned them down time and time again, but they still won't leave you alone, it's okay to be more blunt. How do you usually handle unwanted advances from men?
Comments
Faiii: That's why nice guys are afraid to approach girls
Purplelove: I thought this was pretty funny (it is in the funny category you know), and some of these can be used for other situations too, and I would use them as a joke.
Claudine: Some of these are really mean...
Cindy: Good one Holly, made me laugh.
Annemarie: I would never use these
Vampirebae: Why would you be so mean to someone trying to be nice to you? Wtf I never comment on anything on here but this is one of the meanest things I've seen on here.
Zanna: How about just saying "no, thank you" ? No need to be mean and hurtful unless of course the guy is a real weirdo.
Daniel: Agree! Mean by any account. However, may be useful for that jerk that won't take no!
Emilie: This post IS in the Funny category... I laughed :)
Travelgalxo: Yikes these are actually really mean and not remotely funny, have some respect for the the person and simply refuse politely
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