All Women's Talk

13 Funny Responses to Use when Turning down a Date ...

By Holly

When a certain guy just won't get the hint that you're not interested, you'll have to make your feelings obvious. Saying "no" politely doesn't always work, which is why you might have to be a little more blunt. Here are the funniest responses to use when turning down a date:

1 I No Longer do Things That Make Me Want to Vomit

Life is too short to waste time doing things that you hate. If you don't want to date a guy, don't feel guilty about turning him down. You have to do what makes you the happiest.

2 It Wouldn't Be Fair to My Other Suitors

You're amazing, so there are bound to be plenty of other men that are interested in you. Think of how miserable they'd be if you accepted a date with someone else. You're just being polite by staying single.

3 I’d Rather Stick a Needle in My Eye. or Yours

Spending time with particular people can be the worst type of torture. If you'd rather feel physical pain than deal with the emotional pain of sitting through a dinner with him, let him know.

4 I Don't Want to Leave My Comfort Zone

This one is simple and sweet. Plus, it doesn't even insult him, so he should be happy with the response. You could've been much meaner.

5 It Would Cause the Slow Death of My Soul

Your soul is an important part of you. You wouldn't want to destroy it, so you have to be careful about whom you spend time with. It's just the way it is.

6 I Know Someone That Would Be a Better Fit for You. I’ll Email You Her Information

If he's too gross for you, but perfect for your pal, pass him off to her. Matchmaking is always fun, especially when it gets you off the hook.

7 How Much Are You Willing to Pay Me?

This will make it clear that you wouldn't be caught dead with him, unless he handed you a huge paycheck. A few bucks won't cut it. He needs to break out the big money.

8 I Would Love to Say Yes, but That Would Be Stupid

If you've seen Jim Carrey's film, Yes Man, you already know that it's not a great idea to agree to everything. Use that big brain of yours. You have the right to say "yes" or "no" accordingly.

9 My Palm Reader Advised against It

Everyone knows you have to listen to your palm reader. She knows you like the back of your hand!

10 If Only I Had a Clone with Worse Taste than Me

If you had a clone, you could order them to do all the things you didn't want to do. If they had bad taste, then they might even enjoy the horrible dates you'd send them on.

11 You Can't Touch This

Instead of saying this line, you should sing it. If you have a radio with you, then you can just blast the song so that you don't have to utter a word.

12 I'd Never Date a Guy Who'd like Someone like Me

This one's great, because it makes fun of yourself instead of him. Don't be embarrassed to tell him how horrible it would be to date you. Let him know he's better off on his own.

13 Thursday’s out. How about Never? is Never Good for You?

He can't be mad at you for this one. I mean, you're at least trying to reschedule with him. He should appreciate the effort.

If someone has a crush on you, be polite to them. Of course, if you've turned them down time and time again, but they still won't leave you alone, it's okay to be more blunt. How do you usually handle unwanted advances from men?

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