This is all real life advice the hilarious grandmas and grandpas shared with their youngest! See if you've ever heard anything crazier!
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1. Hilarious Tits Advice
My Grandma (a model during the depression era) used to tell me, "Be proud when you walk! Throw those tits out!" When I would tell her I was only nine and I did not yet have tits, she would just say, "You guess where they are gonna be and throw that out!"
2. Taco Situation. Really, Grandma?
My grandma once chastised me for wearing underwear to bed because I need to "let my taco air out". What bizarre advice have you gotten from the older and wiser?
3. Toilet Paper Roll
An old fisherman in Alaska once told me that: "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. So don't waste it." So far he's pretty spot on. And I must admit, after this quote I use toilet paper less deliberately. I guess that symbolism did sync through!
4. My Grandma is a Playa
My grandma, whilst once discussing my new boyfriend, was asking why I was only dating one man. Her 87 year old advice to 23 year old me was That in her day she would line up multiple dates, with multiple men to try them out, and once you went on enough dates with one person, then you would go steady. That was the norm. I had to nicely explain to my super conservative Irish catholic grandmother that that is what we so kindly refer to as a "player" nowadays. Her response:
"Well, I guess I was a player then.”
5. Clever anti-Smoking Campaign
"A cigarette's got fire on one end and a fool on the other." --my grandpa when I was like 12
6. Pregnancy Pearls
Wait until you are pregnant...
Some favourites have been:
-Don't lift your arms above your head you will hang the baby with the cord;
-Don't lay on your back, or you will die (well fuck, that's serious);
-Drink milk so you can breast feed (pretty sure that's not how it works); and
-Don't poke your belly button you can poke your babies soft spot in their skull and they will die.
Hot tip old ladies, just say congratulations and leave my care up to the OBGYN I pay for advice...
7. Camping Situation. Watch out!
My grandma warned me that boys "make a tent" in bed every morning. Thanks Grandma :/
8. Waste Not, Ladies!
My Aunt Carol never threw food out. Expiration dates had no meaning to her. She always said,
"No, no. It says "BEST" before sept 2014."
So, how about your grandmas - any weird advice? I'm sure there must be some! Pass on their wisdom in the comments!
Comments
Ashley: Actually in the third trimester it is possible for lying on your back to kill you. At that point in your pregnancy, the baby, placenta, and amniotic fluid can way from 20-24 pounds. When lying on your back this can put pressure on a major blood vessel and put you in shock. This is why we transport pregnant women on their side, I don't think it's common but you're grandma didn't get it all wrong.
Christine: Yeah!! 😃
Janae: AHAHA that camping situation is great
Sunshine918: My Aunt once told me "marry for money bc your going to hate them in the end anyways" at a family dinner..... Asked my Grama, who's been married over 50 yrs, if it was true- as Grampa was walking thru the kitchen= all she said was no comment Lol
Matea: Hahahahaha best before
Happygirl: I love this!
Kaylaaa: Lol I love this. It sure made me smile!
QueenB: Lmao !
Nona: My grandma once told me: Before getting in a real relationship, you should see your guy drunk,but really really drunk. This would be his true nature....and a big part of your life as a couple. Well...that's definitely right girls! :D
Beryl: An old one was " keep your hand on your halfpenny !" Leave you to finger out what that means but it was good advice ! In the old days having a baby outside of marriage was hushed up as much as possible. Here in U K now you stand a good chance of getting free housing and lots benefits !
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