Sometimes, your boyfriend doesn't deserve your respect. After all, if he treats you poorly, why wouldn't you treat him poorly? You shouldn't be so sweet and subtle when breaking up with a pig. So here are some of the funniest lines you can use when dumping him:
Here's an easy way to bring your breakup up in the middle of a casual conversation. Take off your sweater, fan yourself, and then hit him with this line.
If two people can get pronounced married, then why can't they get pronounced dumped?
This is the cold, hard truth. In fact, it's really a compliment, but he probably won't see it that way.
If masturbation makes you happier than a man, why would you bother to go out on any dates?
It doesn't really matter what your parents or best friends think of your boyfriend. But your dog's opinion? Now that's important.
This sounds like something Sheldon Cooper would say, but it'll get your point across.
Some men aren't meant to be around forever. They're just a temporary thing.
This will let him know that you'll always remember the good times you've shared.
Don't pretend you're going to call if you aren't. It's just plain rude.
If you're cheating, here's a quick way to let him know.
If you can't decide on a radio station together, how could you stay together?
There's no classier way to say that he has some major problems.
If you use this line, he can't complain about you never writing him poetry.
This is the harshest way of calling him a mama's boy, but if the shoe fits...
Why would you need a man in your life when your vibrator can make you just as happy as he can?
Telling him this is better than him logging onto Facebook and finding out the hard way.
This is a twist on the classic line we all know and love. He might be so upset over the breakup that he won't even realized you said the words wrong.
You probably shouldn't use any of these on your boyfriend, unless you want to shatter his heart, but it's certainly nice to think about. What's the funniest breakup line you can think of off of the top of your head?
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