If you're a history major or just enjoy your social studies classes, you'll love hearing corny jokes about the past. They may feel more suitable for your little cousins or siblings than they are for you, but they can still put a smile on your face with their ridiculousness. Here are some of the history jokes that are so corny that they're actually funny:
1. How Was the Roman Empire Cut in Half?
"With a pair of Caesars." Finally, a joke about Caesar that doesn't involve any mention of salad! If you have a certain accent, Caesars can actually sound exactly the same as scissors, so make sure that your friends can understand the joke when you tell it.
2. Did You Hear the One about the Liberty Bell?
"Yeah, it cracked me up too." If you didn't know that the Liberty Bell had a crack in it, then you need to crack open your history books again. Or you can at least watch more How I Met Your Mother, because there's a whole episode about licking the bell.
3. Why Were the Early Days of History Called the Dark Ages?
"Because there were so many knights." Oh, the joy of homophones. Where would pun lovers be without them?
4. What Was the Most Popular Dance in 1776?
"Indepen-dance." In case you've forgotten, the Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776. Why did you think we go crazy with fireworks on that day?
5. Why Didn't Socrates like the French Fries?
"Because they were made in ancient Greece." Socrates, of course, was Greek. However, fries made in ancient grease don't sound all that delicious.
6. Who Was the Biggest Jokester in George Washington’s Army?
"Laughayette." Lafayette was legitimately in Washington's army, but in reality, there shouldn't have been much laughter going on. War isn't all that funny.
7. Why Was the Ghost of Anne Boleyn Always Running after the Ghost of Henry VIII?
"She was trying to get ahead." This one's a little disturbing, but you'll understand it if you know anything about Henry VIII. Ann Boleyn was once his wife and she, along with other women that Henry had been with, were executed by being beheaded.
8. Did They Play Tennis in Ancient Egypt?
"Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court." While tennis certainly wasn't played in ancient Egypt, it should've been. They deserved to have some sort of fun after years of hard labor.
9. Why Did the Pioneers Cross the Country in Covered Wagons?
"Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train." If you think it's bad waiting 40 minutes for a train to come, imagine waiting 40 years for trains to even get invented. We have it pretty easy compared to our ancestors, because we have the freedom to be lazy. Walking on foot is something we do for fun, not for convenience.
10. What Kind of Music do Pilgrims like?
"Plymouth rock." I bet you saw that coming. Well, what else would you expect?
11. A Roman Walks into a Bar, Holds up Two Fingers...
"And asks for five drinks." If you don't get this one, take a moment to think about roman numerals and what they look like.
Sometimes, the jokes that make you roll your eyes will also make you laugh. Do you know any other super corny jokes about history?